Thursday, July 5, 2012

Faithful Friends

I have a great group of friends.   Strangely, I got close to most of them after life threw my family a curve ball and we closed up our home.  Living the life of a nomad takes some skill, but with a solid core group of friends and family, my existence has become manageable.  All have a stash of my tea in their kitchen cupboards and have become used to my intense approach to life and faith.  I have contributed to the building of our relationships by giving them a front row seat to the myriad of bizarre situations that have come my way in the past two years.   Some of my antics have been so impressive that when my friends feel depressed or blue, they remember to say, “But thank you Jesus, I am not Karen and making the astonishing mistakes she makes.”    We seem to have achieved a balance that works.

Being humbled is not an easy thing to experience.  We feel caught out, exposed and want to hide.   We are reminded in scripture that if we,”humble {our} selves under God’s might hand, that he may lift {us} up in due time 1 Peter 5:6.”  That might not take away the sting of embarrassment in the moment but it provides consolation if we are willing to spend time with our feelings in prayer.

I am continually telling my children to “own it” when they do something wrong or make a mistake.  Only when we confess our failings, can the Lord come to our aid.  This verse has become a good friend during my stormy season.   When I am embarrassed that I cannot explain my circumstances, my trails or my mistakes, I am comforted that God oversees my successes and failures.  If I can stay in the place of humility and persevere, He will eventually turn the tide of events.   Nothing that I might find humbling or humiliating escapes His notice.

If I was a more Godly individual, I would not have found this next story so entertaining.  But as one who has been living life on the bottom of the food chain for a good couple years now, I found myself delighted when a dear friend called me with her tale of hysterical woe.  Suddenly, I had company. Someone else in my world was making ridiculous mistakes and having to ride out the consequences.  I was not the only idiot on the planet!  My heart was filled with love for my dear, dear friend because I could relate.

I am not clear how Eliazbeth managed to find me, when I think of it.  I was at my parent’s home in another country when she called.  I was stopping by their house for half and hour before I went on a long drive and my cell phone wasn’t working.  She caught me on my parent’s landline.
    
     “Karen, is that you?  Good.  I need a favour; can you get to your email?  Do you have your laptop?  You do?  Perfect!!  I need help.  I was doing a group mailing of my art photos to the church and I think I actually attached a letter that I wrote to my therapist!!!” 

I am not often at a loss for words, seldom am I left without a snappy retort.  Instantly, I was in a unique and rare moment.  Because I am incredibly discerning, I observed that my darling friend needed a peaceful and wise response.   And at that moment I failed completely.  All I could do was laugh – loudly - loudly and uncontrollably.

     “This is not funny! I need you to go online and tell me what I said!  I don’t even remember what issues I was discussing.  What on earth am I supposed to do?!!”

I was utterly undone by this point.  I think it was the stress, but I could not come up with a single word.  I just laughed harder, tears streaming down my face.  My dear friend has had a difficult life, but I know how she lives now.  She did not have any reason to be ashamed, embarrassed certainly, but not ashamed.    Thankfully, she started to giggle.  “What on earth are they going to think?  What should I say?”   At that moment, the scripture in 1 Peter came flooding back.

All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”  6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.   7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.   10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power forever and ever. Amen 1 Peter 5: 5-10.


Finally, I managed to breathe and speak.  “Oh my word!!  I am so sorry.  Look Liz, you might as well just step into a mistake like that and swing.  Send out another email and apologize, tell everyone you are embarrassed beyond words but that you are going to make the most of your nightmare moment.  You will give a $5 coffee card for the person whose response is the most similar to your therapist.  A second coffee card for $10 can go to anyone whose response is better than your therapist!  That way, at least you can get some good counsel out of it!  And think of all the people who will be praying for you now they know you are in therapy.   I am certain that God will use it for His good.”  With that sage advice, we were both lost in a fit of giggles, crying and hiccupping trying to contain ourselves.

Perhaps dear friend, you, like Liz and I, understand what it is like to be humbled.  You were following Jesus, when suddenly life took a steep turn downward and it caught you off guard.  The road shifted beneath your feet and you stumbled.  You are bruised and feeling foolish, unclear of what happens next.  May I remind you that you are in good company?   You are not the only person on the planet who has felt this way. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Cor 10:13 

Keep standing dear one.  Resist the urge to crumble and hide.  Go to prayer; ask for His grace and His mercy.  He is willing to give you both of these things and more.  Ask for wisdom and endurance to see the storm through.  You are precious to Him and He will walk the road with you.  He is a good and faithful friend.  He understands what it is to be humbled, He can help you.
    
      ... though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Phil 2:5-8

 It will not always feel awful, dear friend, though it might feel hideous right now.  It will get better and you will laugh again.

I am thinking of you,
xoxKB

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Good Gravy

“Now this is really different,” I thought to myself as I watched the gravy drip down her nose and off her chin.  Inside my mind a small question pushed itself forward and raised its hand, “How is it that these things keep happening?”  I actually didn’t have time to answer the polite little question standing  in the forefront of my mind, because I was reaching past my sister-in-law for the paper towels.  “Hmmm…,” she said un-phased, “that is really warm.”  She took the paper towel from my outstretched hand and set to work at rinsing the brown liquid from her left eye.
I would have liked to have been more help, but I couldn’t be because at that moment thick black smoke started to billow out of the oven.  “Fire!”  I yelled to no one in general and opened the door to the oven.  A black cloud of oily vapor escaped but there were no flames present.  “No fire!” I yelled again and set to turning on every fan I could find and opening all windows and doors on the bottom floor of the house.  My sister-in–law didn’t bother responding, she was now cleaning gravy off the wall and muttering under her breath at the rebellious blender who had started all the trouble in the first place.
Ah yes, it was dinner time at the O’s house.  Just another evening where my sister and I decided to get precious in an effort to treat the children and hubbies to Yorkshire pudding and gravy.    That sweet intent to bless had turned meal time preparation into a battle of epic proportion and so far she and I were getting our **** kicked.  The kitchen appliances were winning.   “For the love of…..”  I heard her say as she leaned over and watched gravy flow freely from the rim of her trendy hat.  Again, my desire to be helpful was overcome by another cloud of black smoke.  Be damned if I was going to take the Yorkshire out of the oven now, they were almost finished and I would not have them collapse.  I waved my hands in the air in order to distribute the smoke more evenly.    It didn’t work.  I grabbed a tea towel and set to waving it in the air before the smoke alarm turned itself on.  That way, if my husband walked in the kitchen he might not be able to tell the smoke was billowing from the oven.  I figured the overall effect of a kitchen filled with smoke would somehow put his heart at ease.  
“Cook you stupid things!!  Oh how I hate you!”  Things had taken a personal turn by this point and I was now rebuking my sister-in-laws new oven.   It was a stainless steel beauty with a delicious royal blue interior.  It was a gorgeous, sexy stove capable of convection and conventional roasting.   It had been added to the family last year and looked fabulous.  Problem was, in my book it was the incarnation of Jezebel.  Beautiful on the outside but a heart of a demon lurked with, ready to incinerate all Martha Stewart inspirations with her elements manufactured in the forges of hell itself. 
“Wow, that is really everywhere.”  My sister continued cleaning rubbed the underside of the cabinets.  She was either oblivious to the smoke filled kitchen or was choosing not to micromanage my part of the crisis. I appreciated her confidence in me.  I was at about that time, as I was peering through the hazy cloud at my gravy covered family member that I got the giggles.    
My sister in law and I have been through a lot since the day I married her brother, fifteen years ago. Something about the combination of smoke and gravy launched me on a ridiculous memory trip.  We have spent some really strange time together.  I remember watching her smile at her first born son as he sneezed his way through my wedding because he was allergic to my favorite flower.  Hugging her goodbye on a trip to Canada and having a bee sting her near her jugular vein as it got trapped in between us.  The Christmas dinner we both got food poisoning and had to share a bathroom.  Sitting in an emergency room taking pictures of her entirely stoned on Valium and sending it to our friends.   I had another memory of me, lying on my bathroom floor vomiting all over creation as she made me tea in the kitchen.  Special family time, fifteen years of memories people outside the family asylum wouldn't understand.
It was then that I realized how good at persevering we had become.  Here we were, in the kitchen burning Yorkshire pudding and painting the walls with gravy and no one was crying or having a fit.  No one was blaming the other or screaming.  We were simply fixing the problems as they came, calmly with no fuss.  Okay, well there was some volume and some fuss but the humans in the situation were functioning on the same side.  This was the fruit of something... something good….it was endurance… it was amazing.
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5
So take heart Dear One, next time you find yourself in a crisis take a moment to pause and reflect.  What would you have done in this situation 5 years ago, or ten?  God is doing a work in you.  Look how much you are able to endure now.   Look how much you have learned.  When was the last time you turned an entire load of laundry pink or let the baby roll off the bed?  Look how far you have come.  You are amazing.  Take heart when things go wrong,   God is doing a fabulous work and he promised to finish it.
Philippians 1:6 says, “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   This does scripture does not guarantee that your blender will behave or that you won’t send another lip balm through the dryer.  It does though, mean that Jesus will see you through.  He will take the bumps and bruises and turn them into precious lessons.   These lessons will develop your character and make you useful in His kingdom.  So even if you do set the Yorkshire pudding on fire, with the Lord on your side you simply cannot fail…… 
Why do you think He invented take out?

Monday, April 23, 2012

My Socially Relevant Sunday

Good Morning Dear Ladies,

Happy Monday to you! I hope you heard a good preach at church yesterday and that your family enjoyed some old fashioned Sabbath rest.

I love Sundays. It has long been my custom to stop at the corner store and grab a newspaper on the way home from church. After feeding my family a tasty lunch, I announce to all within earshot that I am retiring to my bed and that I expect to be woken at 3:30 for teatime. It is a brilliant system and it has not been known to fail. At 3:30 on Sunday, there will be a knock on my bedroom door and in will come my hubby and or child carrying a cup of tea and a cookie just for me. It is the closest thing to magic that I know of.

Sunday afternoons my center of operations becomes my bed. After banishing children from my presence, I organize my domain. Pillows fluffed behind me, bible study to my right, mail beside that, newspaper on the left, diary on my lap, hankies and contraband potato chips on the bedside table. System or science? You decide.

When comfortable, I will start the process of reading the newspaper in a desperate attempt to remain intelligent and socially relevant. If I do this with any degree of success, I am certain to become overwhelmed at the state of global affairs. It doesn’t take me long, about one hour.

Once I have myself completely bewildered by the American political system one of two things will happen. I will start my bible study in order to reduce my panic and remind myself of God’s sovereignty or I will curl up in the fetal position and take a nap. I generally do both but will not confess the order of operations. I said I was attempting to remain socially relevant, I did not say I am ever successful.

If you had been sharing a cup of tea with me on Sunday, we would have discussed raising children in a world that worships celebrity. We would have used like “face book” and “social media”. You might have been impressed with my ability to balance a tea cup while waving my arms about and shouting. “How,” we would ask each other, “do we raise our children to be successful at real life in a world that measures success by the number of hits on YouTube or your number of followers on Twitter?” We would have had a really good time.

 But you weren’t there and by evening I was feeling blue. It was then that I started to pray and peace started to speak to my agitated and socially relevant mind. What started as an impression grew as the week progressed and two scriptures came to my mind. The first was the from Mark 12:28-33,

28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” 29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[b] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[c] There is no commandment greater than these.” 32 “Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. 33 To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”


I am more inclined to worry about things that involve my children. My inability drives me to my knees daily. I had no idea, when I conceived the little critters, that they would continually challenge my faith and sanity. I continually need to remember to pray and not worry. God has a plan for their lives; regardless of how I feel about the world they are living in. If I can teach them the guiding principle of loving God success will be theirs.

The other scripture came from the book of Colossians 3:23-24. 23

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Surely, if I try to keep these scripture in front of my eyes, the Lord will be able to guide my efforts to mold my children. But can simple efforts yield solid results? Are the simple things enough? Below are two stories I encourage you to view with your children. Both of these women simply worked hard and yielded exceptional results.

The first is the story of Florence Patrick. She chose to wait tables part time when her children were at school. Flo however, was no ordinary waitress. She was so successful the owners of the restaurant where she served for 39 years had to build an addition on the restaurant to accommodate her regulars. Imagine being so skilled at your job it caused your employer to expand their business. Does this sound freakishly similar to kingdom work?

Find her story here: http://roadfood.com/Digest/480/enjoy-your-retirement-flo

The second is the story of Olivia Neubauer. Olivia turned 100 in March but that isn’t the impressive part. Olivia is a teacher, America’s oldest teacher, she started in 1935. Watch this video and see if every ounce of bad attitude doesn’t melt in the presence of true devotion. If I posses a quarter of Mrs. Neubauer’s composure at the age of eighty, I will consider myself successful.

http://www.educationnation.com/index.cfm?objectid=9EDC23DE-6E03-11E1-9205000C296BA163

I hope that these stories will encourage you not to grow discouraged dear Teacher. Slow and steady wins the race. I know the Lord is with you as you teach your children daily to make their bed, put the dishes into the dishwasher and to put their shoes by the front door neatly. Such diligence pays dividends in time. Faithfulness in simple things delights the Lord’s heart. Habakkuk 2:3 says,

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.”

So don’t give up dear friend. Though today your children are causing chaos and mayhem making you want to cash in savings bonds to fund a trip to Tahiti, tomorrow they might surprise you. Tomorrow they will hang up the towels after they shower without you reminding them. Tomorrow they will put their underpants in the laundry hamper. Tomorrow they will develop into radically functional adults that love Jesus. You will be thrilled, you will be astonished, and you will rejoice…..you might even tweet about it.