Awesome Possum

I live with mice: hamsters actually, but what’s the difference?  Essentially, they are well fed vermin.  Opossums are sometimes viewed as vermin too, even though they are a lot bigger than hamsters.  I saw my first live opossum on Friday.  It was early, my hubby had left for work and I was in the kitchen making my tea when I caught sight of something in the back yard.  Wondering if it was my neighbor’s evil carpet duster dog**, I went outside to take a closer look.  Checking the fence to see if the critter had escaped, I realized the creature was walking strangely and scooted closer for a closer look. 

I backed up just as quickly when realized it was a large (if not ginormous) opossum out for a stroll.  Not having met an opossum, I was unclear of the protocol of first contact.   I figured waving was a good start.  Mr. Opossum ignored me.  It was not the cross species encounter I envisioned.  Staring at him as he sauntered across the moss I was struck with how weird looking he was.  I can understand why people dislike them; they aren’t the most handsome creature in the forest.

However, I was determined to love my new friend and chatted with him as he walked away through the ravine.  I texted my girlfriend to brag on a new relationship and she cautioned me that too much interaction with Mr. Opossum could mean the destruction of my house.  She is not as enamored with North American marsupials as I.  This was after I suggested feeding him sweet potatoes.  Though I wouldn’t actually feed the fellow, she has good cause to worry considering the whole mice issue.

When my youngest got up, she was thrilled to learn the woods behind the house held a new animal.  I showed her the video I took and we marveled over Mr. Opossums’ shape and size.  Taking to the internet, we had an impromptu biology lesson and discussed if Possums were as menacing as their reputation.  We decided that they get a lot of disapproval because they are ugly.

Life has a way of bringing you both beautiful and ugly experiences.  The beautiful ones are like Reddit aww videos, I love to watch them and bask in their loveliness.  The ugly seem to me unredeemable and intended to provoke outrage.  Like opossum, I approach them uncertainly, unsure how their ugliness could bring me benefit. 

Last week I had the opportunity to talk to a woman who is in the middle of trial by teenager.  A kind and devoted mother, she has to practice tough love in the face of rebellion and rage.  It is not easy.  I asked her, “How is your heart?  How are you managing to stay above the hurt of it all?”  Her answer was different, “Really Karen, it can be so painful but when it is, I just encourage myself in the Lord.”  She said the entire phrase like it was a pleasant verb, as if she were informing me she was going to eat chocolate cake.  It was striking.

If you are familiar with scripture you will recognize the phrase from the story of David.  I Samuel 30 tells the story of David’s men turning on him in bitter disappointment and proposing to stone their leader.  In response, David strengthens himself in the Lord.  As a verb the word clearly implies an action, that of becoming strong, but what does that physically look like? Getting on your knees and praying? Reciting scripture out loud?  Standing up to the negative voices in your head by speaking truth?  My guess is yes, all of the above. 

The vexing thing about growing stronger is that you have to lift heavy things to gain strength.  The problematic part about overcoming trials is living with problems long enough to get to the overcoming.  It isn’t our natural inclination to put ourselves in adverse circumstances in order to improve our character.   Though my friend didn’t say it directly, there was a level of positive fellowship she was experiencing in prayer through her trials. I felt a deep admiration for this woman and ashamed of my own weakness.  She looked at trials as a means to spend time with the Lord; she dwelt in the negative but was able to experience something positive in the pain of it all.  I have no doubt that she is the type of person that would view a hamster as a pet and not freeloading vermin.  She would probably feed a possum a sweet potato too… given the right circumstances.

There is much we can learn from these types of folk.

I do hope there is someone in your community my friend, from whom you can glean a bit of wisdom: someone who can inspire/embarrass you into withstanding trials with more grace.   Perhaps pick up a biography of someone who has overcome in order to see how, over time, blessing can come from hardship.

I’m praying this week, that we might be able to find peace in the face of pain.  That by standing in a place of hurt, we will be able to find moments of strength and learn that not all ugly things are vermin to be eradicated.

Have a good week,

xoxKaren

PS. sorry for the lame video, by the time I met Possum, ran away from Possum and got my phone this is what was left. 

***Yes, dogs are wonderful. Blah, blah, blah… this one has evil in its soul.  Don’t be offended.  If you met him you would agree.

Nearly Naked

Unadorned

There are benefits to belonging to a homeschool community: excellent baking, access to reliable babysitters and the ability to wear denim skirts without censure.  There are codes of conduct we try to maintain, thankfulness, politeness and modesty; fairly sensible churchy things upon which we agree make life in community operate smoothly.  I understand these rules and do a fair job of keeping them which was why I was surprised when I was asked via email last week, if I was going to allow my daughter to deck her graduation cap  in pictures of naked people during a school ceremony.  As someone who regularly dresses before leaving the house, I have to confess I was confused.   Being fallible however, I touched base with my daughter to ensure she too was committed to clothing and hadn’t taken up as an exhibitionist.  I’m not into limiting artistic expression ya da, ya da….. But I wanted to ensure I didn’t need to ground her before diving into what was bound to be a precious community growth experience.  The disadvantage of homeschooling community is that life flows fairly well until it doesn’t and then no amount excellent baking and stretch denim can make up for the discipline of learning to keep your mouth shut.

You can understand why I felt set up for failure.

All jesting aside, it was a bit of a shock: a moment when the space between how you believe you are perceived and the evidence of another’s perception of you is found to be too vast to address in a civil manner.   The note put my mother bear instincts on instant high alert.  The only solution that presented itself to my raging mind was to write back that my daughter had not intended to draw naked people on her person, but rather sculpt nude replicas from Fimo after attending a naked hot yoga class, after which she would place them on her hat. 

Would you find it surprising that my husband and I have a system whereby I am not supposed to send emails when I’m angry? 

I was faced with a moment of decision.  I could either let my emotions rule, or I could invest in giving the benefit of the doubt to those who hurt me.  Don’t think for a moment that this is a blurb about how to be a better person; nothing could be farther from the truth.  This is a blurb for those who have met Jesus yet are continually faced with the fact that a ruinous force of self-righteousness lurks in their heart and much of their time is spent trying to figure out how to behave so as not to dishonor someone they love. 

So what is an angry, misunderstood, offended, Jesus-following woman to do?

This is the part where understanding you are a wretch is fairly helpful.  If you have ever failed, if you have ever been shamed for failing, and if you have ever felt regret you are blessed.  You have the ability to remind yourself of how you wish you had been treated and to act accordingly.  It is that simple. 

I sat down in front of my computer and wrote a response to the naked people email.  It was detailed and elaborate, covering every angle I could think of and listing all possible areas of misunderstanding.   I walked away from my masterpiece for a few hours and let it sit.  When I returned, I considered how much of what I had written was about me wanting to be understood and how much actually addressed the issue at hand.  Hitting delete, I started a new letter that contained a simple answer.  No, my daughter's hat would not be covered in images of someone’s nether regions.  Thank you for checking in with me.  Thank you for all your hard work.

Simple.

It seems to me that the church is big on the power of God “to do.”  We ask God to bless, to pour out, and to release.  These days, I’m much more focused on God’s power to withhold, to restrain and to contain.  Not because containing is better than pouring out, but that with the Lord, both come from a place of love.  Sometimes we need to learn that not expressing ourselves is the more loving thing to do.

And so I am praying for wisdom for you this week my friend, especially in the presence of your enemies.  Those who pat then jab, those who blink then wink, those who smile then smirk; that Jesus would contain and restrain their effects against you.  That by his grace, you would be able to restrain yourself and cover the naked unkindness that you see in your community so that you might become an agent of change.

Yep.  I just used "agent of change" in a sentence.  I’m really sorry.  There is no excuse for that.

Be amazing this week.  Bite your tongue. Pray for those who are unkind.

xoxKaren