Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Blackberries

I have a “thing” about blackberries, brambles really. I think it is a gift, but I possess a super human ability to demolish bramble patches. My idea of a perfect summer afternoon involves a pair of sharp pruning shears, a perpetually full teapot and an endless supply of 30 gallon yard waste bags. Eerie I know, but being a superhero isn’t all about conformity. Ask my last landlord, and he will tell you that while I was his tenant, I cleared one third of his entire property. And not those baby brambles that goats munch either. We are talking about monster brambles that eat storage sheds, climb trees and devour small children and their Frisbees. It took me two years, but when I had finished a beautiful lawn replaced land that had been unusable for 10 years.
To tell you the truth, no one knows that I am a superhero posing as quasi-rumpled homeschooling Mum. Most of my friends just think I’m weird. The question I get most often when I finish recounting epic tales of bramble domination is, “why on earth are you doing all that work? You don’t even own the property!” My answer is simple; I am taking my place in God’s economy.

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.Colossians 3:23

Jehovah-jireh is one of the many glorious names of our Risen Lord. “The Lord will provide,” is the name that describes the heart of our God who is interested in meeting the needs of His creation. As many families feel the pinch of economic uncertainty we must continue to walk in faith and invest in God’s economy, for only the things of God are unshakeable. We are directed “not to worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things (Matt 6:31-32).” The Lord is interested in supplying the needs of His people, and if you are willing to listen to the word of the Lord, you too, can take your part in His generosity.

A friend of my husband recently invited us to spend several weeks at her beach home. As our friend took us on a tour of the grounds, it took me all of five minutes to find the blackberry patch. “And this is my dad’s, but he doesn’t use it anymore,” she said, pointing to a large greenhouse on the corner of the property. The greenhouse stood about 10 feet high and the south side was covered with huge blackberry trailers. “In fact, if we ever get it out we’ll take it apart and give it away. It still has some good life in it.” She pointed to the 30x30 patch of scrub land, “If we napalm this stuff first.” I had stopped listening by this point. I was already envisioning my angle of attack. If I started cutting prickles from the south west side, my children could bring me tea without dying in an accidental performance of Brer Rabbit.

The weather did nothing to cooperate as I set to clearing the land. It was rainy and cold on the days I started clipping but I didn’t care. I was a pioneer clearing land, noble and valiant in my efforts to feed my family before winter set in and killed us all. I was learning important lessons, wrought by experience. Lessons such as: don’t swing a pick axe over your head in an uncontrolled manner. That sharp end will fair near crack your spine when it makes contact. Or more importantly, make sure you tie your shoes properly when clearing land. Because if you should accidentally fall into a hole in your blackberry patch and lose your shoe; the word regret will take on a depth of meaning you never knew possible. Important information all pioneers need to know.

It didn’t take too long to get the land cleared, and when I was finished, I let our friend know I had cleared out the blackberries. She was equal parts amazed and perplexed when she came across to view the yard. “You really didn’t need to do all of that! What a lot of work. Do you know someone who wants the greenhouse?”

…the righteous gives and does not hold back. Proverbs 21:26

Actually, I did know someone who wanted the greenhouse, someone who had wanted a greenhouse for as long as she could remember: a fabulous Canadian, whose humble life quest was to stop Americans from making tea in the microwave. Sadly for me, I knew the greenhouse was to go to someone else the instant I saw it. I had the sense I was to do the work because the greenhouse was not to sit rotting in the corner of the garden. It was a matter of stewardship and my friend was being a good steward. The Lord wanted it to go to a family that would be blessed. I was enjoying the privilege of staying at a waterfront home because someone else had worked hard to provide it. I was taking my part in providing a blessing for someone else.

I wish I could tell you that I happily praised God when I realized I was going participate in a greenhouse adoption. I didn’t…at first. First, I called my sister-in-law and lamented that I was going to help give away the $4000 greenhouse of my dreams. I pouted, fussed and generally acted like a twerp for about ten minutes. Then, I dutifully prayed, repented for being a selfish piggy monster and released my sister from my pity party. I had a greenhouse to place.

And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

I had quite a few inquires when I posted the greenhouse, most of which fell through within the first few hours. This was a grown up greenhouse that needed a full sized yard. Then I received an email and I knew the greenhouse had found its home. A dear friend, who I hadn’t seen in 6 months, would love the greenhouse if it was still available. This precious woman has been in the Refiner’s fire for more than a year now, and all she could do in her email was praise the Lord for His provision. She and her girls had asked the Lord specifically for a greenhouse two weeks previously, and her children were astonished that the Lord would answer their prayers so quickly. Aren’t children awesome? God loves little people.

What followed was one of the loveliest Saturdays I have spent in more than a year. My husband and I spent the morning honing our communication skills as we dismantled the greenhouse. That afternoon, my friend and her family came over and spend a fabulous afternoon by the beach, munching cookies and drinking coffee. We shared tales of life’s unexpected turns, overcoming disappointed hearts, and the provision of God. I experienced refreshment that I never could have imagined and received far more thanks than I ever could have deserved.

There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered. Proverbs 11:24-25

And so Dearest Mummy how is your heart this spring? Has winter been long and dreary? Do you have closets to clean? Are there clothes that no longer fit, dishes that you love but don’t use? Do you have fears in the corners of your heart and worries about your future? May I challenge you to dare to be generous and surrender all these things to your Risen Lord? Allow Him to lighten your load, sow in faith and reap in joy. It really does work.

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. Ephesians 3:14-21

Happy Spring!!
With many blessings to you and your family,
KB

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sometimes Life Goes Wrong...

Sometimes life goes wrong, really, really, wrong. Not the kind where you can call a friend and say, “can you pick up my children? I have a situation here….” But the kind of wrong that leaves you locked in your bathroom sitting on the floor sobbing. The kind of wrong where you find yourself telling your children, “No, Mummy is fine. Yes, go and watch the television for a while. If you are hungry there is sugar cereal, I just need to be left alone for 10 minutes.” Thirty minutes later, you are still on the floor, you can’t hear the children and you could care less. You still cannot get off the floor to leave the bathroom. What are you supposed to do then?

Sometimes it is the sudden nature of the crisis; its intensity is so overwhelming that we are left unable to respond. In an instant, everything we knew has been replaced by uncertainty and we are left unsure if we possess the resources to cope. Everything we know about God is put to the test. It is a horrid place to be. If you have spent some time on the bathroom floor lately, I have good news for you. God knows where you are and is interceding on your behalf.

When my life got tipped sideways, a year ago now, I had some strong responses. At the outset of my families’ crisis, I spent a lot of time vomiting. Call it a skill if you like, but I am blessed with an ability to vomit, anytime of day or night, regardless of where I am. Not the most helpful response to extreme stress, but I felt at least I was contributing. When that had passed, I spend a great deal of time being utterly astonished. How did we get here? What did I do wrong? Where was God? I had a list of unanswered questions and as I spent time with them I came to my third strong response, I got angry.

I wish, with all my heart, that I could write this piece because I have done a brilliant job in this last year of keeping anger, despair and dismay out of my walk with Jesus. Then I could write, with deep insight, a top ten list of things to do when the unexpected hits. You would think I was very clever and intensely spiritual to come up with such profound insights. Sadly, I do not have such a list. I am sorry about that, truly I am. I do however, have list of things I have done very badly.

In fact, my mistakes have been quite stellar. Not just the things I have done wrong, but the sheer amount of time I spent doing things the wrong way. I have displayed to myself and my husband a demented type of tenacity which at times has left us both speechless with admiration. My take away is that I have the tendency to be a bit intense. My husband won’t share his take away points with me on the matter. I view that as wisdom.

So then, my dear friend let me say first that I am so sorry you are hurting. I understand that the storm clouds have gathered and that you are frightened. Everyone who follows the Lord finds themselves in this place sooner or later; rest assured you are in good company. Through the ages, God has proven Himself a faithful shepherd. He alone is able to walk you through this storm and will bring you to the other side. Could I share with you a few things that might be helpful? They will not take away your pain but they might help you to remember that Your God is for you, and that can make all the difference in the world.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:12-13

Decide at the beginning of the crisis, that God is on your side and intends to walk you through this difficult season. I wasted a great deal of time here. When hardship came, I was so surprised by it that I lost all momentum. I am afraid to say that I indulged myself in this area. Instead of turning to scripture, I got angry and slipped into a victim mentality. The change was subtle. I felt that God was doing “this” to me as opposed to believing that He had allowed it to come my way in order to teach me to withstand trials. I just couldn’t seem to get over it. I’m not sure exactly what I did with all the bible stories I learned as a child. The victory stories of Joseph, David, the prophets, the disciples, all seemed to suddenly disappear. It took me 8 months of struggle before I actually believed that God might have a plan and would walk me out of my desert.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Know the season you are in and remind yourself of it daily. Breaking and blessing, the desert times, the wilderness, the bible is full of stories of followers who walked through trials. Everything comes in seasons, nothing lasts forever. Where you are now, is not where you will be in 3 months, even if the circumstances don’t change your heart attitude will have shifted. One of the biggest lies from the enemy is that we will never get out of the trial in which we now find ourselves. This simply is not true. God‘s unfailing love is eternal, not your current trial. This season will pass. When I was at my lowest, I asked three friends to remind me of that fact constantly. For the record, they rarely remembered to do that, so I would send then emails telling them when I needed encouragement.

Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Colossians 3:16

Memorize old hymns and sing or recite them every morning. I do not want to get into a discussion about worship in the church today. Okay, that is a lie. I do want to do that, but not right now, let’s wait until you are feeling better. There is a reason why classic hymns have lasted for generations. The theology is sound and they remind us that our battle is spiritual and that Jesus alone holds the victory. Songs that focus on your love of God will not help when disappointment hits. I cannot express how isolated I felt during corporate worship. I was in the midst of a congregation that spent a lot of time telling God how much they loved Him. I was a misfit with a serious problem, my faith was shattered and I didn’t feel like I loved God at all. In fact, had Jesus shown up at the service, I would have fallen at His feet for the sole purpose of biting his toe. I was angry, hurt and confused. That I couldn’t enter into corporate worship made matters much worse. If you are feeling this way, take to singing “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” in the shower every morning. See if that doesn’t help.

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

One of the tricks of managing a crisis is the ability to deal with the overwhelming sense of panic. Accepting the crisis is necessary; trying to avoid pain, discomfort and suffering takes up a great deal of time and energy. If you are in a crisis, chances are strong you are going to walk through some very unpleasant experiences you would rather avoid. Knowing that Jesus will give you the strength to deal with each problem in the moment, will become a reality as you start to name the problem you are facing and thanking Him as He brings about ordinary answers to each problem. How many times do we wake up with a list of little problems that need to be resolved? Often, God sends answers and help in such ordinary ways; we fail to see His guiding hand. Training ourselves to recognize His presence will pay dividends when we are waiting for deliverance from our circumstances. Ask God for a grateful heart and practice the discipline of thankfulness.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Prov. 3:5-6

Remember I said that I spent a lot of time doing things wrong? This was an area where I wasn’t content to be alone; it seemed I had a crazy need to drag my husband along. My husband, in order to stop his wife from wasting precious time, coined a phrase “We are in endurance part, not the understanding part.” Not the most eloquent phrase but it certainly has been helpful. Patience is not a virtue that I possess, not even a little bit. The devotional, “Streams in the Desert, by Mrs. Cowman” talks about vexing oneself to despair. I have done a great deal of that. When faced with the ancient mysteries of providence and suffering, the best I could come up with was to get bent out of shape over the fact that I didn’t understand what God was doing. Imagine getting upset because the Creator of quantum physics decided not to consult before working out part of my eternal good. A word to the wise: save serious time, don’t do this, work on scripture memorization instead.

Jesus said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." II Cor. 12:9

And so my dear friend, it is safe to get off the bathroom floor. Jesus is not surprised, frightened or unable to cope with your crisis. If you are feeling broken, disappointed or uncertain you can rest assured that the Lord is fully able and mighty to save. You are in the middle of a process and your great high priest will continue to pray for you and watch over you. The situation will not be solved near as quickly as you would like, that is almost certain. But if you continue to stay in the struggle and call upon His name, He will bring about His higher purposes in ways that will astonish you. I am praying for your heart today.