Naked Truth

I didn't want to hurt the feelings of the teary blonde in front of me, I just wanted to reach across the table and smack her hard on the forehead.  But if you take scripture seriously, you don’t do things like that.  Especially when you giving counsel to overwrought, over tired and overworked mothers.

 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,  and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5

See?  Nothing in there about smacking people on the head, no matter what translation you study.  I wasn't angry, although I should have ended the conversation 20 minutes sooner.  Everything sensible had been said and Sweet Ms. Sniffles and I were lost in the backwaters of a bottomless emotional bog.  I was frustrated, deeply frustrated and wanted to hit someone so that I could feel better. 

[Note: If the word “submissive” in the previous scripture has you upset, you need to take your turn.  I’m grumpy and we can talk about your issues later.]

I am writing dear friend, because this was not the first time I wanted to smack a beautiful 20 something.  In fact, it was the third time in a month.  I have concluded therefore that: 1. I need to book some time with my therapist regarding anger issues and 2. We need to have a talk.  So let’s get to the root of the issue…

Are you spending time watching naked people make love on TV?

What about vulgarity?  Are you watching dysfunctional narcissist souls make a spectacle of themselves?

Back to the naked thing, are you watching fully clothed people?  People who could walk outside in any given scene and not get frostbitten in embarrassing places?

I don’t mean to get personal, total lie – yes I do, but we need to go over some basics here.

Psalm 101:3 ESV  I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.

I don’t mean to surprise you by mentioning the fact that life is hard, relationships are complicated and marriages are impossible.  If this is true, then why are so many of us making things more difficult by feeding our hearts and minds a diet of Netflix based lust and nudity?  It just doesn't make sense. 

I recently spent time on the phone with a woman who was unhappy in her marriage.  After spending a month trying to diagnose the source of the discontent I learned what she did with the last 3 hours of her evening.  She would watch a show or two to “de-stress” and relax.  That was a polite way of saying she would watch a show that was so sexually charged she would spend the better part of the next day wondering why her she and her husband never made love on the kitchen table. 

Two words: unrealistic and unhygienic. 

It would be a tragic cliché to pretend that this was the only problem in that marriage.  But increasingly, women are turning to entertainment to relax only to find themselves immersed in imaginary worlds that take up a great deal of mind space.  Characters in TV shows wear lust like a garment.  Exactly when do we tire of the “I-am-so-bad-for-you-but-sex-will-be-so-good-but-it-won’t-be-worth-the-therapy-you-will-need-after-we-are-through” game?  The answer is never. 

That is why we are told to stay away from things that mess with our minds and emotions. 

Proverbs 4:23 Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.

Darling Friend, could we try something new in the month of October?  Could we, the minute the Holy Spirit warns us about a program we are watching, turn it off?  Turn it off and then do two things: tell someone you love one thing that makes them precious to you, then engage in an activity that would bless Jesus.

Romans 12:2 ESV  2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

I am convinced that if we could learn this skill, our lives, families and marriage beds would be blessed.  

Praying for you this week,

Karen

FYI: I always share my writing with those who I write about BEFORE I post.  In case you are worrying I am a horrific counselor.  The exception to the rule applies to my nearest and dearest. Those brave souls and I have come to an understanding, they tell me what if off limits and I mostly listen to them.

Muddy Buddy

"Mummy, I left my mask in the car," my youngest yelled after looking in her bag.  "No don't worry, I have my goggles!"  She pulled the goggles over her head and followed her sister to the waters' edge.  I groaned.  As a parent, I can tell you there is a significant difference between a pair of goggles and a mask.  When a child wears a mask, they cannot get water up their sweet nose. Moreover, a child who yells every time water gets up their nose will make their parent's life miserable. A screaming child has an inverse effect on maternal support, patience and temperament. The 15 minute jaunt back to the car was a small price to pay for congenial nasal relations.

I threw a glance at my brood and swam to the rocks.  My friend assured me she would supervise the girls while I made the trip back to the car.  When I last saw them, they were splashing in the water wearing their modest christian swimsuits. I smiled.  A short skip along the trail brought me to my Sienna to grab the forgotten mask.  The parking lot was empty as I strode back into the forest.  Except a bird call or two, it was silent as I walked the return path.  After five minutes, the thunder of the river eased into the sound-scape.

I clamored down the rocks and took a deep breath before I jumped in the river.  The temperature of the glacier runoff is a shock no matter how prepared you are.  I dove and at once, hot and sweaty gave way to cold as I swam to my girls.  As I approached, my friend yelled, "Oh good, you're back! We've been waiting for you!"  She had a wicked glint in her eye.  I looked at my children who were grinning back at me.  They looked less christian than when I last saw them.

We were at a local swimming hole known for its scenery, wildlife and rock formations.  Rock formations that contain large deposits of clay. In fact, if bored and if all responsible adults had left the area, you might smear clay over your entire body.  With enough time and determination, you could transform yourself into a mud sculpture, fit for the pages of National Geographic.  My earthenware eldest shouted, "Mummy!  We are having a clay-cial!"  My friend, smiled and replied, "You would pay  hundreds for this service at a spa. But I'm teaching them for free!"   I stood astonished as my little grabbed her mask.  My eldest rubbed clay on her elbow.  "I missed a spot," she muttered.  I shook my head wondering why she never used soap with the same intensity.

Despite its strange beginning, it was a glorious day, spent laughing and swimming with friends. The clay dried, was washed off and then reapplied.  On the way home, the girls giggled about their "clay-cial."  Even now, the picture of three girls, covered head to toe in mud, has stayed with me. Truth be told friend, I feel like God has allowed a lot of mud to strike my family in the last few years.  Not the expensive mud either!  Consequently, I have struggled not to accuse God as his providence has worked in the life of my family.

Have you ever wondered if God knew what he was doing?  Ever done your best, worked hard, only to have someone cover your efforts in mud?  Is your heart aching over one so covered in filth you no longer recognize them?  Sometimes unpleasant events break into our safe worlds.  Mud happens and it can be heartbreaking.

There is hope for those who find themselves soiled and worn.  Our God does not shy away from messy situations. Psalm 34 reminds us that, "many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all."  God is not shocked when the dirt starts flying.  God has done a lot with the stuff over the ages.  Genesis 2 sees God making man out of the dust of the ground. In the 8th chapter of Mark, we find Jesus using dirt and spit to restore the sight of a blind man.  If you or a loved one is sporting mud, understand it can serve the master's purpose.  The prodigal son in Luke 15, found himself deep in filth.  Yet it was this very condition that brought him to his senses. You have no reason then, to fear the dirt you see.  As a follower of Jesus, you know the truth that washes us clean.  That is reason to rejoice.  Take heart, keep standing and call out to your King.  

I John 1:19

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

God is sovereign Dear Heart, over the storm, over the flood and over the mud. 

I am praying for you this week.
xoxK