Called and Qualified

Happy Sunday Friend,

I hope you are having a good day.  Did you listen to a good preach this morning?  I owed you a letter after our conversation the other day and I wanted you to know I was thinking of you on Friday and Saturday. 

I was brave and ventured outside of my postage stamp sized comfort zone this weekend.  After signing up for some training, I found myself sitting around a table with 8 new stranger-friends.  We were thrown into an instant community and I must say, God was really kind.  It was a very supportive group.  They were all ridiculously functional, crazy gifted and super talented.

Remember last month, when you told me you had been chosen to be on the board of the committee you loved?  You were so happy and we could both see how God had opened doors for you to accept the position.  I remember praying with you, thanking God for the opportunity.  You were so excited. Do you remember how you were after the first meeting?  I laugh to think about it, (yes it IS still funny).  You came home and called me in tears.  “God made an awful mistake!”  I remember listening to you list the reasons why you weren't qualified.  You gave me about 12 of them.  You listed your hair colour and the fact you didn't own a pencil skirt as disqualifiers.  I was deeply compassionate and giggled my head off.  It took a lot to talk you off that ledge.  I remember thinking, “faith can change a lot in 24 hours if you aren't vigilant.”

I wanted you to know I had my own faith freak out this weekend.

The morning I left for training the weather was perfect.  I was driving through a beautiful part of the state, Mount Baker smiling down on me.  Arriving on time, I found the class fantastic.  It was fast paced, informative with lots of opportunities to ask questions. We had a lunch break and hit the books again.  By the end of the second session, I started to get of a sense of my classmates abilities and gifting’s.  It was about that time that I wondered what on earth I was doing there.   Partway through the second set of presentations it hit.  A complete reversal of faith.  I looked at the other presenters and was absolutely certain God had made a mistake. I looked at my papers and wondered, “What am I doing here?  I am utterly unqualified.”  My hands started shaking, and I forgot all the reasons why I had gone to the class in the first place.  When I managed to breathe again, I thought of our conversation.

So dear friend, I wanted a “do over.”  I know that I wasn't the epitome of understanding last time, I was laughing too hard.  But my own experience this weekend had me thinking and I wanted to try hit the subject again.

I wanted you to know it was a blessing you feel unqualified.  Think of all the characters throughout history who have felt that way.  Moses said he couldn't speak, Gideon professed to be a nobody, Jonah went AWOL: the bible is full of men and women who were unsure why God called them.  I am beginning to suspect it is part of the process of committing to a task.  You realize the project before you is enormous and part of your mind panics. 

You weren't chosen because you are perfect dear friend, you were chosen because God gave you the task.  Therefore, it is God’s job to supply you with the grace and strength you need.  I would ignore the realm of internet pop-psychology and focus on the truth of scripture. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Co 12:9  

Life isn't made for us to feel comfortable, if you never feel uncomfortable or frightened, you are probably dead.  I don’t think you are dead yet. If you are, I’m mad at you for not telling me. 

I think part of the problem is that I am spiritually double minded.  One day I say, “Lord, use my life” and then when he gives me an opportunity I scream, “Lord what doest thou?”  It’s kind of stupid. 

My best advice; don’t be stupid.  You have asked God for the opportunity.  He brought you one.  Memorize your scripture, stick to the task and get it done.  Be prayerful, thoughtful and diligent.  You are little, God is big.

Enough said.

I’m praying for you,

xoxKaren