I was holding it together until the toaster fell on my head. Moving isn’t easy at the best of times but
with my husband away, I was feeling more than a little overwhelmed. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t
misplaced my electric toothbrush recharger.
Have you ever brushed your teeth with a dead sonicare? The stupid thing had jumped into a box while
I wasn’t looking and I had spent the better part of half an hour trying to
catch a glimpse of it in the cardboard towers in my living room. Flopping down in defeat resulted in a minor
balance issue, which brought the toaster down with a crash. About then, I decided I was being persecuted
by the universe. I curled up on the
couch, the only piece of furniture left that was readily accessible, grabbed
some tissue and had a cry.
Being able to move was actually a blessing, but at that
moment it didn’t feel like it. I was
depleted in pretty much every area yet the demands didn’t stop. Every morning there was a new list of
problems to solve, errands to run and details to organize on top of the regular
care and feeding of three offspring. As
I cried myself to sleep that night, I decided I would need to call friends for
some help the next morning. I lay on the
couch, ice pack on my head and thought, “I’m done. I cannot do this. Maybe someone can help me find new momentum
in the morning. Otherwise this move is
not going to happen.”
When I awoke, I peeled myself off the pleather groggily and
sat up. I took inventory of my
person. My head had stopped hurting but
everything else ached. I put on the
kettle and phoned my prayer partner. A
genuine morning person, she wakes up an hour or two before I do. When I’m in need she is a well spring of encouragement,
when I’m grumpy I want to drown her in the well spring in order to tone her enthusiasm
down a bit. This morning I was in need and grumpy, so I
found her equal parts encouraging and maddening. Her zeal
for my move well exceeded my own. In
truth, I wanted to God to sweep in from the heavens and send me magical moving
angels. She was all about me rising up
and taking the kingdom one moving box at a time. We drank tea, (she drank coffee) chatted and
she prayed me up until I felt like I had the fortitude to face the next 12
hours.
After the call I was in need of more reinforcement so I sat down in front of my concordance and looked up scriptures
to do with strength. I was sorely in need
of some truth and didn’t even mind if it was applied out of context. I started hunting. Lest you think me spiritual, I will fill in
some of the running commentary in my head while “meditating” on the word of God.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Phil
4:13 – Fabulous scripture but it just makes me mad. I have a really bad attitude. I don’t want to overcome, I want to be
delivered. This one makes me sit on the
floor and pout. Perhaps putting myself
in time out is going to be necessary…
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they
will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31 – Arrg! I am fainting.
I am not an eagle. I’m like a chicken with mange.
Can chickens get mange? I’m too
old for this, I’m not even standing let alone walking. Dear Lord, what am I doing wrong? Where did my faith go? I’m a carnal Christian
I’m sure of it. This is what I get for
looking at birb and food subreddits. I’ve
lost my faith and am going to hell.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of
the weak. Isaiah 40:29 – This is more like it.
There is still hope for me.
Weak. That sums it up. Thank you Lord that you don’t despise me in
weakness. Thank you that you have time
for me when I’m such a toad. Please help
me today. You got me through yesterday,
you will do it again. I’m sorry I’m
looking at my feet when I should be looking at your face. Please give grace.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my
power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for
Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2
Cor12:9-10 – Back to the weakness issue.
I do not like weakness. I like
looking good. But that’s not an
option. Lord, I’m needing help. Help slowing down and getting help. Give me eyes to see your grace, and the grace
to be thankful and accept it.
Two weeks out from my move, I am reviewing God’s
faithfulness and the many ways he showed up when I was in deep need; tired, weak
and overwhelmed. The truth of it is,
even when I’m on my game, my best efforts are not enough to merit God’s grace
and intervention. God acts out of his love and kindness. I’m deeply thankful to those who serve the
Lord and who helped me through. I guess
I just want to testify…
Danielle: I reserved a 17 ft truck and you offered a 10 ft
truck 30 miles away. You are probably
not evil. You are good at making your
company money. When I picture you, I envision
you with three heads. I’m sorry for
that.
Criff: Thank you first and foremost for being a foot and
half taller than me. Though I almost
killed myself in your garage storage space trying to find the drop cloths, you
packed the van and organized like a pro.
I would not have moved without your help. Deep appreciation.
Darrell: You are one of the nicest people on the
planet. Do you help all your wife’s
crazy friends? Seriously. I think we need to find you a hobby. For being so easy going and kind, thank you.
Sara & Dennis: I don’t know anyone who would spend the
last three hours before their holiday helping someone move. You are truly wonderfully. Such kindness. After spending
time in your presence, I can rest assured my furniture has heard the gospel and
is saved.
Loises: I lack words.
If we were travelling with the Israelites in the desert, you would be
the one battling the Midianite raiders.
Watching over the stragglers and the weak, your ministry is amazing.
Mara: My children bless your name. They would have starved without you. I hadn’t had a casserole in over 5
years. Do I have to move to get another
or can I bribe you? Thank you friend.
Jana: For having the enthusiasm to go the extra mile. You put the enegizer bunny to shame. I am so proud of what you have become. E and
L for spending your summer days with us.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Selina: For actually remembering I was moving and coming by
to help. So very kind of you to spend
your time that way. Glad to be in your
hood.
Homeschooling teens:
Hardest working, strangest, and most fabulous work crew ever. I watch your work ethic and it makes me so
glad I have chosen to raise my girls with you.
Girlies: You are amazing and I love you. Good work.
May God grant you joy in your new home.
Husband: Even though you were absent for this one you funded
the entire thing. You are a very good
man. Next time, we pay someone else to
do this. Thank you for loving me. Never go away again.
I’m thankful Lord, for the many ways you blessed me during
this last month. Thank you for a new
home, and friends. For the lesson of
being weak and watching your faithfulness as you shore up lack. You are good and your mercy endures
forever.
And so I'm praying for you this week my friend. That you too, would have eyes to see the ways
in which the Lord loves you and provides in your weakness. May He be proved strong this week.
xoxKaren
P.S. Did any one of
the aforementioned amazing people see where my toothbrush charger went? Let me know if you did, it’s still
missing.
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