It was a rough morning. So rough, I suggested a trip to Bulk Barn to push back the gloomy cloud that had settled on our home. When Bulk Barn is your idea of a good time, you are definitely having a bad day. But Bulk Barn was all I could think of, so my middle and I (middle child, not middle chubbiness), used it as an excuse to get out of the house. To clarify, my chubbiness came along for the ride, but I’m not so far gone as to personify my weight gain. That being said, stay tuned, you never know.
I have observed that some peoples’ lives seem unaffected by Covid;
they are working and getting out daily much like before the pandemic
started. For those who have lost
employment or family members to this awful virus, life is far from normal. In our community, most everything has slowed
to a crawl and there isn’t a lot happening to keep oneself entertained. Unless you are a rules-be-darned 60 or 70 year
old pickle ball player; that group is pretty much impossible to stop in any
season. They go to the courts each
morning, breathe and sweat, then head for the nearest coffee shop, social
distancing be damned.
Alas my girls and I are made from more compliant material,
so donning double masks, we got into the car and headed for the shops. If you live in the States, imagine the bulk
section of Winco expanded into a store.
Then make it as clean as you could possibly imagine, without a stray
gummy worm or pistachio to be found anywhere.
The store here is ridiculously clean and we are eternally grateful. We sanitized
our hands at the door, checked the customer count and walked inside.
The joy of window shopping with anyone is the conversation
to be had during the process. My girl
and I chat easily, and we had a host of comments and quips to make regarding
pasta noodle shapes, nut butters and spices.
Frankly we had been cooped up all week and were enjoying the sights of
so many products on display. My middle
and I, (middle chubbiness, not middle child) sped through the chocolate section
so as to resist temptation and ended up in the candy isle.
Jelly candies to be more specific. There are a heck ton of
jelly candies in Bulk Barn friend, makes the mind boggle. Jelly sharks, worms, bears, bugs, rings, or
babies: if you want a edible gelatin, this is the place. I must have been looking around with some
amazement because a 60 something man in a mask said, “That is quite the load of
colourful candies isn’t it?” And this, Beloved, is where something in my brain short circuited.
To start, I hadn’t talked to anyone outside my family for
about 5 days: which is coincidentally, about as long as my family can exist
without needing something from the store.
Secondly, I am ridiculously lonely.
This pandemic started about half a year after I moved countries. I have no friends and this guy was actually
starting a conversation with me. Clearly
we weren’t best friends yet, but maybe he would invite my husband to play
tennis or perhaps his wife would want to go for a walk with me one day. I beamed. I thought. I replied. “Yeah, colourful candies…..” What was I saying? Where am I going with this? “to make…” Jesus
help me I have forgotten how to talk! “your liver..” Liver? What the actual hell? Pull out a rhyme
woman, there is no saving this now; it is your only hope at redemption. “shiver.” I smiled weakly under my mask and began to
feel mildly nauseas as he laughed politely.
“Ha, yes.” He replied confused and kept walking. “Colourful candies to make your liver shiver.” My one conversation in 3 months and that is
what I come up with? I scurried over to
my middle, (child not the chubbiness),
“Oh my word, I just rhymed at someone,” I hissed through
clenched teeth.
“Rhymed? At a stranger? Why on earth did you do that?”
“Because he said the candies were colourful and I didn’t’
know what to say, then I got worried and the best thing I could think of was a
rhyme!”
“Wait. What? What did he say? What did you say back?”
I told her and she shrieked with laughter.
“Good grief mum, you sound like a demented character that
escaped from a Candyland game. What were
you thinking?”
“I wasn’t!” I groaned and began to giggle. “The sad part is, today I learned there is a part of my brain
that thinks rhyming is a good idea! Think about the therapy needed to undo that one!”
“Wow. Just wow. This
is what years of homeschooling get you.”
“I homeschooled you so you would be a kind person! Clearly it
didn’t work!” I shouted and we collapsed again, in a fit of giggles. It was the kind of laughing you can only do
when you have spent the morning crying, begging God for a ray of hope on a dark
day. I laughed till I couldn’t breathe. We
toured the rest of the store, bought dog treats, and gasped for air when we
replayed the scene in our minds. It was
entirely ridiculous.
Of course, middles will rat you out given the opportunity,
(the children and the chubbiness.) and soon we were home with my daughter recounting
the meeting. “Dad, she was just like a
demented wizard!” She did a demented wizard walk across the room and offered
colourful candies to her sister. I could
only laugh helplessly, “I didn’t mean to sound that strange,” I replied weakly.
The teasing and laughing went until my girls shut themselves in their rooms for
a few hours. After dinner I found my
girl showing her Dad her afternoon’s artwork. "Honey you have been
captured in cartoon!” He shouted across the room.
“Well isn’t that perfect! I do make a good wizard!” I quipped, looking at the picture. “And I love my cape!”
I have reflected on this goofy encounter a few times this
week and how glad I was that I shared the moment with someone who loved
me. It is easy during stressful times to
say the wrong thing. Social situations
have become high pressure lately, with restrictions, imposed upon a frustrated and
tired population. I can’t tell you how
many times I have been scolded by a member of the working public for standing
in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Please
move forward. Mam please move over here. You can’t stand there!” All this and I follow those arrows on the
floor at every opportunity. Except the
time I was searching for marmite at the end of the baking isle and instead of
going an extra loop around the neighboring isle I walked backwards so it looked
like I was pointed in the right direction.
I’m not afraid to admit it was a rebellious moment.
Embarrassment and shame tends to melt in the presence of
caring hearts. So I am praying my
friend, as we weather the last of this dark season together, that there will be
moments of joy mixed in the difficulties and grief we face. I hope that I will be kind to those who find
themselves overcome and at a loss for words, outclassed by their situation and
feeling foolish and inadequate. Praying
that the words I post or speak will bring peace to those around me because what
we say does matter.
But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on
the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. Matt 12:36
That one really makes my liver shiver……
Thinking of you this week,
xoxKaren
Thank you Amit Lahav for the photo on unsplash!
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