Don't Forget to Remember

I was enjoying a cup of tea with a girlfriend this week, when we started to reminisce about our childhoods.  Tales of harrowing adventures were shared, secrets discovered and we laughed ourselves silly for a good long while.  She asked about the church I attended and we shared Sunday school stories.  The afternoon left me thinking about my childhood church for days. 

I was blessed to attend a delightful small church three minutes’ walk from my parent’s front door.  I remember walking to the church with my sisters, munching a piece of cold toast, listening to the church bell ring.  Sometimes my mother went on ahead, sometimes she came a few moments after, but she was always there, with any number of my four sisters and one brother in tow. 

Despite its small size, there were always a handful of earnest saints who taught Sunday school.  To this day, I remember their names and devotion.  Though I didn’t prefer to be away from my mother for an entire hour, there were seasons where I would attend classes.  In the cold church hall, with the wooden floors, I would sit in freezing metal chairs and learn the bible stories and colour pictures.  It was a place of familiarity and safety despite its chilly temperature.

I remember one day, discussing the story of Noah.  Being 8 years old, I was a Sunday school veteran.  I felt I knew the story by heart and was barely listening when I heard my teacher read the story from Genesis.  Suddenly, something she said caught my attention. 

“Excuse me, Mrs. Bailey?  Could you please read that part again?  I don’t think I heard it.”

“Perhaps Karen, you could put down the Popsicle sticks, and it might help.  Yes, I will read it again.   

 “But God remembered Noah and all the beasts and all the livestock that were with him in the ark Gen8:1.”

Mrs. Bailey went on to recount the way in which the waters receded, but at that point, I had stopped listening.  I was worried.  Somewhere in my little mind, I had just heard that God had misplaced Noah.   More than misplaced him, he had clear forgotten where he put the man!  God, who made the heavens and the earth, had misplaced a man in a boat and a whole swack of hungry animals.  It was disturbing. What if God had forgotten to remember Noah?  What if they continued on the rough seas, without any hope of deliverance?  Clearly, God bailed himself out and found Noah and his family but it left me anxious.  

I don’t know why I didn't talk to someone about my concerns.  Instead, I held on to them for many years.  Wishing I could go back in time won’t help, so I thought I might ask a question Friend.  Are you harboring an adult version of my childhood fear?

When tough times roll in, we increase our prayer time, asking God for help to get through the day.  As illness turns to disease, we pray more earnestly calling out to the Lord for mercy.  In certain cases, days turn to months, months to years and yet, deliverance does not come.  This is where fear can be found.  There are times when our prayers are earnest, our hearts sincere and yet we experience no consolation.  Have you ever felt like God has forgotten you?  That somehow, you were misplaced, put somewhere where your prayers cannot ascend.  Do you wish God would remember your situation?

I don’t need to tell you that God doesn't misplace anyone.  He doesn't forget anyone either.

"Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. "Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me. Isaiah 49:15-16

When the bible speaks of God remembering his servants, it is connected to an action that he is going to perform.  It is a way of saying that God is going to undertake on his servants behalf.  Take the example of Rachel who longed and prayed for a child. 

Then God remembered Rachel, and God gave heed to her and opened her womb.  Gen 30:22

Never think for an instant that you are forgotten child of God.  If you are heartsick and wondering if God remembers your name, take the opportunity to remember who He is.  Remind the Lord that you need him, that you are depending on His mercy and grace to see you through.  Pull out some of the marvelous scriptures and pray them through.

"While I was fainting away, I remembered the LORD, and my prayer came to You, Into Your holy temple. Jonah 2:7

"Remember the former things long past, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like Me, Isaiah 46:9

Waiting is difficult and suffering is hard.  However God does not view time the same way we do.  However, he is able to redeem all things and delights in providing a shelter for His children.  You are not forgotten dear heart.  He will remember, He will act, He will be faithful.

I am praying for you this week,

xoxKaren. 

Image from their website: St Peter's Church
http://www.stpeterscomox.ca/links.html

Two Sparrows and a Budgie

        I knew it was going to be a rough week when I came home and my 2^nd born said, “Mom, something is wrong with Carl.”  Immediately, my heart sunk.  Despite every effort I have made to create a stable, loving home for my children, somehow our mental health has become tied to a feathered piece of creation weighing roughly 42 grams.*  I don’t know exactly how it happened but frankly, I blame my mother in law.  Our relationship was fabulously complicated and when she went to be with the Lord, I suspect she filed a request with Jesus on behalf of her granddaughter.  Though the theology behind my reasoning is deeply flawed, the fact remains that shortly after her passing, my daughter ended up with a budgie similar to the ones her grandmother used to keep.  God moves in mysterious ways.

        

        Examining Carl, I had to agree with my daughter.  Something wasn't right, and the budgie was in some form of distress.  At this point dear friend, can I encourage you to thoroughly investigate your clever ideas before you execute them?  Truly, truly I say unto you, DO YOUR RESEARCH!  If I had done more reading before we adopted Carl, I might have understood the shadowy world of the budgerigar’s reproductive organs.  As it happens, I did not possess this enigmatic knowledge and spent a week paying to interact with experts on the subject.

        

        To be honest, it was a stressful week.  My daughter cares deeply for her little bird, and I was unable to make the situation better.  I did a lot of praying.  Over and over again, I found myself unsure if my prayers were going to be answered they way I desired.  I kept asking for God deliver me out of the situation.  Instead, with faithfulness, God kept walking me step by step through the process.  Have you ever experienced that Dear Friend?   We pray frantically, as if prayer were a magic wand that can be waved and presto – we will be delivered.   Have you bumped into the reality that God doesn't always work like that?

        

        There is a lovely scripture that references God’s care for birds.  I am sure you have read it before,  

        

        Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.   But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matt 10:29-31

This delightful picture needs to be looked at in light of the chapter from which it is taken.  Jesus is sending out his disciples to preach the gospel and to perform miracles in his name.  He is also warning them of the persecution that awaits them.  (The subtitle above verse 16 reads, “Persecution Will Come.”)  If you ever have the temptation to put the above verse on a coffee mug, make sure the opposing side of the mug includes a stylized drawing of someone being stoned.  Otherwise, you are at risk of taking the promises of God to feather your own comfy nest. 

        The entire segment of scripture reads as follows,

        

        “So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.  What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.  And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.  Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?[h] And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.  So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.  Matt 10:26-33

        

        Darling friend, can I remind you today, that God is not oblivious to your struggles.  Those who seek to make your life more difficult and those who are unkind do not escape His notice.  He does not turn a deaf ear to the cries of his children.  If I was willing to walk with my daughter through budgie reproductive drama, how much more is God willing to attend you in your time of distress?   Your prayers may not be answered the way you hope.  You may need to incur loss, grief and suffering.  But this pain is not being experienced in vain.  It is forging for you great character, strength and endurance.  God is watching over you, ready to help you endure the pain you desire to escape.  Do not stop praying or crying out for His deliverance, but understand that deliverance is often difficult to recognize.   You are not forgotten, he will hold you fast and bring you through.

I am praying for you this week,

xoxKaren

*That’s 1.4 ounces American friend.

After visiting the nicest vet in the entire world, it was discovered that Carl was in fact ready to lay an egg.  She has no mate, but she can still accomplish this feat and is feeling very clever. (For that matter so are millions of chickens.)  She has now laid two eggs and seems to be contemplating laying a third.  

New Year Eternal Love

Happy New Year!

I pray this note finds you healthy and safe.  It is my desire that 2015 will be a year of answered prayer for you and your family.  May God bless you with a deeper knowledge of His amazing love over the next 12 months. 

If you found yourself dancing on tables with loved ones as the year turned, you might not find this next letter relevant.  Maybe you can tuck it away until you need it.  It was written to a friend with a broken heart.  She said I could share it with you as we all learn how to minister to those who are in a broken season. 

Regardless of your season this year, I hope you will continue to see God’s fingerprints over every day he places before you.

Be gentle and bestow the little kindnesses immediately.  Sow a shower of loving actions this year, the harvest will be just lovely.

xoxKaren

Dearest Madeline,

Hello!  I had to write you and let you know I did it!  Take that sister! I was awake to see the New Year in, and you are right, that hasn't happened for about 15 years.  To be honest, I view that as significant somehow.  Perhaps a new season is upon us. 

I thought of you later that morning, when I managed to roll out of sleep and sit up in bed.  I told you last week I think of you often upon rising.  Because I remember all the mornings I woke up and consciousness came in like a wave of dread.  I was so sad to wake up, to find myself back in the land of the living instead of asleep where I could hide.  I wanted to let you know that it will change in time, honestly it will.  You will not always hate waking up.

I found a scripture I wanted to share with you. It comes from the book of Nehemiah.  Ezra, Nehemiah and the Levites are reading the law to the people.  They are understanding their transgressions and becoming greatly distressed.  The reading of the law falls on a holy day and surprisingly,   

…he [Nehemiah] said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Neh 8:10

I wanted to call your attention to the phrase “send portions to anyone who has nothing ready.”  To remind you, that when you are most in need and do not have the ability to provide, that God has provision for you.  We serve a God who understands that hearts break, strength weakens, and desire ceases.  I want to testify and if we were together, I would stand on your kitchen table and preach at you. (By the way, when are you going to be done with that beautiful old piece of furniture and give it to me?)

When I was at my lowest, I would get out of bed, lie on the floor and beg God to help me start the day.  That was after I asked him if the floor could swallow me.  Most of those days I just wanted to die.  I lived in a fog, trying to do the next functional action that would keep the children going.  Trying to put on a brave face, to salvage a life for them out of my psychological rubble. Celebration days were the worst.  Somehow, I was to pull together a party out of flour, oil and about $4.00.   

Sweet friend, I have to tell you, though the pain was indescribable and the suffering was intense, I made it through 4 years of celebrations because the Lord saw fit to “send portions to those who have nothing.”  I remember waking up crying because toast was on the menu for dinner for the 5^th day in a row.  A sweet friend met me on a field trip to bring me a chicken telling me that “Costco chickens were on sale today!”  It took me three months to realize that Costco chickens never went on sale, she was just trying to make the transaction less awkward.

For a season, my girlfriends hosted my children’s birthday parties, building the celebration where I had neither resources nor space.  Their love of my children and their ability to function saw us through when I was crippled by the breaking process.  Person after person shared annual celebrations with us, so that my family survived.  My family is intact because of His marvelous grace and thousands of kind acts. 

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

This will be the case for you dear heart.  Though you are numb, in pieces and have no strength left, God will see you through.  He will bring you little blessings, he will keep your faith alive when you have nothing left to give.  You will be shamed, humbled and misunderstood.  Those who love you will unintentionally cause you pain, but God will give you the grace to keep going.  

He will not leave you or stop fighting on your behalf.

But now thus says the Lord,

he who created you, O Jacob,

    he who formed you, O Israel:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

    I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

    and the flame shall not consume you.Isaiah 43:1-2

I appreciate that you are living a life you did not choose.  I am so sorry your heart is broken.  You are my friend and I love you.  You are God’s child, and he will not leave you in this place.  He will keep loving you, keep holding you, and keep providing for you when you feel overwhelmed and undone.  I pray for healing and for hope to spring up from the ashes.  I pray that this year will be a turning point and that you will know His deep love for you.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

I love you.  Come and visit me.

xoxKaren