Happy New Year!
I pray this note finds you healthy and safe. It is my desire that 2015 will be a year of
answered prayer for you and your family.
May God bless you with a deeper knowledge of His amazing love over the
next 12 months.
If you found yourself dancing on tables with loved ones
as the year turned, you might not find this next letter relevant. Maybe you can tuck it away until you need
it. It was written to a friend with a
broken heart. She said I could share it
with you as we all learn how to minister to those who are in a broken
season.
Regardless of your season this year, I hope you will
continue to see God’s fingerprints over every day he places before you.
Be gentle and bestow the little kindnesses
immediately. Sow a shower of loving
actions this year, the harvest will be just lovely.
xoxKaren
Dearest Madeline,
Hello! I had to
write you and let you know I did it! Take
that sister! I was awake to see the New Year in, and you are right, that hasn't happened for about 15 years. To be
honest, I view that as significant somehow.
Perhaps a new season is upon us.
I thought of you later that morning, when I managed to roll
out of sleep and sit up in bed. I told
you last week I think of you often upon rising.
Because I remember all the mornings I woke up and consciousness came in
like a wave of dread. I was so sad to wake
up, to find myself back in the land of the living instead of asleep where I
could hide. I wanted to let you know
that it will change in time, honestly it will.
You will not always hate waking up.
I found a scripture I wanted to share with you. It comes
from the book of Nehemiah. Ezra,
Nehemiah and the Levites are reading the law to the people. They are understanding their transgressions
and becoming greatly distressed. The
reading of the law falls on a holy day and surprisingly,
…he [Nehemiah] said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat
and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for
this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is
your strength.” Neh 8:10
I wanted to call your attention to the phrase “send
portions to anyone who has nothing ready.”
To remind you, that when you are most in need and do not have the
ability to provide, that God has provision for you. We serve a God who understands that hearts
break, strength weakens, and desire ceases.
I want to testify and if we were together, I would stand on your kitchen
table and preach at you. (By the way, when are you going to be done with that beautiful
old piece of furniture and give it to me?)
When I was at my lowest, I would get out of bed, lie on
the floor and beg God to help me start the day.
That was after I asked him if the floor could swallow me. Most of those days I just wanted to die. I lived in a fog, trying to do the next
functional action that would keep the children going. Trying to put on a brave face, to salvage a
life for them out of my psychological rubble. Celebration days were the worst.
Somehow, I was to pull together a party out of flour, oil and about
$4.00.
Sweet friend, I have to tell you, though the pain was indescribable
and the suffering was intense, I made it through 4 years of celebrations
because the Lord saw fit to “send portions to those who have nothing.” I remember waking up crying because toast was
on the menu for dinner for the 5th day in a row. A sweet friend met me on a field trip to
bring me a chicken telling me that “Costco chickens were on sale today!” It took me three months to realize that
Costco chickens never went on sale, she was just trying to make the transaction
less awkward.
For a season, my girlfriends hosted my children’s
birthday parties, building the celebration where I had neither resources nor
space. Their love of my children and
their ability to function saw us through when I was crippled by the breaking
process. Person after person shared annual
celebrations with us, so that my family survived. My family is intact because of His marvelous
grace and thousands of kind acts.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those
who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
This will be the case for you dear heart. Though you are numb, in pieces and have no
strength left, God will see you through.
He will bring you little blessings, he will keep your faith alive when
you have nothing left to give. You will
be shamed, humbled and misunderstood.
Those who love you will unintentionally cause you pain, but God will
give you the grace to keep going.
He
will not leave you or stop fighting on your behalf.
But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he
who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I
have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be
with you;
and
through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be
burned,
and
the flame shall not consume you.Isaiah 43:1-2
I appreciate that you are living a life you did not
choose. I am so sorry your heart is
broken. You are my friend and I love
you. You are God’s child, and he will
not leave you in this place. He will
keep loving you, keep holding you, and keep providing for you when you feel
overwhelmed and undone. I pray for
healing and for hope to spring up from the ashes. I pray that this year will be a turning point
and that you will know His deep love for you.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3
I love you. Come and visit me.
xoxKaren
No comments:
Post a Comment