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You do not want to see the mystery underpants.
Here is a nice butterfly instead. |
My friend!
I’ve missed you. As December approached, I’ve been locked in
a wrestling match with the Lord. I’m not
winning, but I’m spending a great deal of time in prayer, which is a close
second. I’m continually amazed how many
times I can go to the Lord with my struggles: not once has he dropped an anvil
on my head. That would be surprising
wouldn’t it?
“Lord, could we go over your sovereignty once more because I’m
still having some trouble with your plan.”
WHAM! (Anvil falls stage right, missing our heroine by a
mere 4 inches.)
“Maybe later?”
Life around my home has provided many opportunities to be
thankful, although many have proved stressful.
A few rough days resulted in my teen asking if I would drive her to
classes as opposed to her taking the car.
I agreed to chauffeur, allowing her extra time to cram for a chemistry
test, enjoying the moments we have to chat and catch up. The drive in was soggy but uneventful. A kiss on the cheek, the backpack hoisted
over her shoulder and I watched her small frame walk away from me. I pulled away smiling, it is nice when you
like and love your children at the same time.
I was expecting a call post chemistry test to hear how it
went. What I was not expecting was the
amount of hysterical laughter that greeted me after my, “Hello?”
“Mum, the most embarrassing thing happened. I have no idea how.”
“Well that is a statement. First how was the test?”
“The test was way better than I expected, I did fine,
improved my grade.”
“Excellent. What was embarrassing?”
At this point, I need to tell you things are going to get
awkward. I’m determined to conduct
myself with the appropriate amount of home school decorum, but be warned, we are
headed for the rails.
“Well, I went to sit down in class, and by my feet in the
isle I saw a headband. I looked about to
see if someone dropped it but then, I realized it was (sister’s name) underpants
so I scooped them up! I wondered if they
were in my sweater or something when I pulled it out of the dryer this morning.” She collapsed into a fit of giggles. “I couldn’t believe it! They were just lying there. I really hope no one saw.”
“Excuse me? You found
your sister’s skivvies on the floor of your chemistry class?”
The response was unintelligible, something between snorts
and crying. I attributed a certain
amount of it to post-test stress disorder. “Yes,” she squeaked and starting
laughing again. At this moment, I need to tell you that not all underwear owned
by homeschooling females are granny camo briefs. Anyone who does theatre will tell you
that nothing gets rid of underwear lines like not having any underwear lines to
contend with. Enter the minimalist underpants. Her sister’s apparently, in the isle of
the chemistry class, scooped up by my daughter.
The wheezing continued on the end of the line.
“Okay tiger. Way to
both humiliate and defend your sister’s honour.
Are you coming home?”
My daughter managed to get a grip and moved on from the
underpants caper. I had to laugh because
my girl, in the throes of an awkward moment, hadn’t put the whole scene together
yet. That is to say, she was not
calculating the fact that NO ONE in class even knew she had a sister and
probably thought the skivvies in question were hers. Somewhere, in that first year chemistry
class, could be a person who thought my daughter was an exhibitionist home schooler
with an underpants issue.
She would put two and two together at some point.
I would help her.
The whole scenario did replay itself in my head though and
when it did, I was struck by a few things.
First was the manner in which my girl, when faced with an awkward scene,
immediately set herself to covering up her sister’s potential embarrassment. She knew her sister’s skivvies shouldn’t be
in the middle of chemistry class and grabbed them, instead of leaving them in
the isle. I was touched by her actions; I would have looked at the ceiling and kept going. Finding the presence of mind during embarrassment
is a rare skill set.
One of the most
depressing things about watching societal decline is the sheer amount of
material out there that is aimed at embarrassing other humans when they are in
a vulnerable position. Though it isn’t a
straight exchange, the scripture that comes to my mind is Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude
of sins.1 Peter 4:8 In the times in which we live it isn’t always enough to
forgive, we must have within our hearts the earnest affection that causes us to
protect those who stumble as opposed to making their weakness an object of
scorn or ridicule.
Second thing I noted were the steps she went through when
confronted with that awkward vulnerability.
First she reacted to cover the situation, second she created a narrative
with the information she had at hand. I
thought both of those things were significant.
How often do we react in a tense situation and then are left trying to
figure out what just happened? Someone
can be shockingly rude and we are left to construct a narrative as to why they
would act out. Lack of information
leaves us guessing, the danger lies in the fact that our information can be
entirely wrong. Left to our constructed
narrative, we operate out of judgment and misunderstanding. It’s an uncomfortable place to be.
As in so many of life’s awkward situations, they key to
success lies within the attitude of the heart.
If compassion resides within, I am likely to cover and protect those who
make mistakes without having to know all the details. I will be slow to recount their missteps and will remember I cannot possibly account fully for the actions of
others. If compassion is not found in my
soul when humiliation strikes, I will be first in line to heap scorn and fake
outrage to the fires that voraciously consume lives almost every day. Those fires bring devastation and can turn in
an instant. I am well advised to have
nothing to do with them.
It was a full four hours later when my daughter came in the
front door with her friend. Immediately,
she ran down to her sister and handed over her skivvies.
“Oh my gosh, did you hear what I did? They must have been in
my sweater, I’m so sorry. It was really embarrassing.”
“Yes, I did,” was her sister’s reply. She peered into her sister’s hand. “Umm…not sure how to tell you this…but those
aren’t mine!”
“What?!”
“Look at the brand. I
don’t own any of those. Whose underpants
did you take?”
“NO! Wait, what? MUM?”
My daughter flew upstairs with the contraband knickers in her hand. Looking at me, she held them out, “Are these
yours?”
“No, child of mine.
Those are not my underwear.”
The look of shock gave way to a delightful scream of
disbelief. “Oh no! Whose are they then?”
The sound of hysterical laughter rang through the house, it
took ages for it to die down.
Be careful out there.
xoxKaren
ps. Photo by Dima Visozki from Pexels
