An Unwelcome Visitor

Tree Critter

Though I can hardly believe it, the month of December has arrived and the world around me has turned to the task of Christmas.  More specifically, it has turned its attention to the task of “Happy Holidays” which seems to be far less offensive than the celebration of Christmas itself.  However, being distinctly behind the times, I celebrate Christmas and as such, a pine tree was brought into my living room this week.  I love Christmas trees; I don’t even need to decorate them.  Their presence brings me joy, less so our bird, who was rather confused by the entire ritual. 

It should be mentioned that when you bring an object that lives outside indoors, there is a good chance that you will bring in some countryside contamination and critters, which is why the vacuum is nearby and used frequently when setting up our tree.  As two family members set the tree in its stand, another is assigned to sucking up the trail of pine needles and dirt that follows.  The sudden invasion of a pine tree combined with the pine needles swirling in the vacuum creates a type of unintentional, unapproved HEPA filter potpourri I really enjoy. 

Christmas music is required for tree decorating as are tea and snacks.  After procuring them from the kitchen, I sat back and let the girls decorate, reminiscing about the days when I despaired the Christmas tree would ever get decorated without some form of crisis as three undeveloped little brains hung breakable ornaments while standing on stepladders. Mind you, there is a Christmas ornament on our tree that still causes some consternation as certain family members are unclear what a fat glittery pink pig complete with crown and wings has to do with Christmas.  It spends the entire season on the front of the tree dead center or hidden at the back of the tree in a place of obscurity, depending on who just walked through the living room.  I find it is the little traditions that make the season. 

Not long after the tree was decorated, I inspected the girls work.  Smiling, I walked to the tree to take a closer look, when something in my peripheral vision turned my head.  I couldn’t quite catch what I had seen until I thought an ornament was casting light.  A fraction of a second later I realized a ladybug had come in on the tree and was inspecting the newly decorated branches.  I think she was enjoying herself.  Did you know that ladybugs are named after the Virgin Mary? If you did, you aren’t surprised it was hanging out on my Christmas tree; it is after all “our lady’s bug.”  If like me you were unaware of this fact, you are doubtless impressed with this particular bugs’ love of symbolism. 

It should be mentioned that I hold no animosity toward lady bugs, however a ladybug is still a bug, (beetle actually but never mind) and belongs outdoors.  Not wanting the charming coccinellidae to meet with the vacuum or the less charming bird, I looked up where the creature should be deposited to spend the winter.  A quick wikki search and I was back to ladybug wrangling.  I had to find the silly thing again though, that took a while, they might have small legs but those aphid munchers can really move.  Finding her a suitable hibernation spot, I returned inside to contemplate the ways in which Christmas brings both the welcome and unwelcome visitors to our home.    

It’s the unwelcome things at Christmas time that I grapple with, struggle and strive to find peace; most predominantly the unwelcome visitor of suffering.  Like an infected taste bud, suffering can be a constant companion, painful and aggravated by almost anything. When well intentioned people would glibly quote Romans 8:28 at me during my crisis over the holidays, I would almost spit fire back at them.  Don’t tell me that things are going to work out, tell me how to trust God in a crisis”, I wanted to shriek.  Rather, “explain to me the steps by which I am to facilitate a trust in prayer, so that this torment of fear will stop.”  Don’t tell me in Christianese to have a happy holiday, speak to me about Jesus in the manger, forgotten, the smell of manure in the air.  Remind me how Christmas teaches me to worship with the angels in this broken backwards place.   

Which leads us back to the question: what are you celebrating this season my dear friend?  Are you celebrating a Happy Holiday or a Merry Christmas?  If you are celebrating a Happy Holiday then decorate away with every scarf wearing penguin and Santa you can find.   There isn’t enough glitter or tinsel to make my holidays happy if I can’t find a Savior or a message of redemption in my pain.  If I am celebrating Christmas, then I have hope.  Hope that when everything goes wrong, I have a God who is able to sustain me.  Hope that when I am empty and alone, someone still cares and loves me.  Hope that when sin ruins everything, God has a plan to give me life again.

Perhaps this suffering, this unwanted visitor, residing in your life at Christmas time, is not quite the intruder we imagine.  Much like my ladybug, though unwanted, it is part of the landscape of Christmas.  Though we might dread it, there is deep value in knowing our suffering is understood by one who loves us more than anything.  That we would understand we serve a God who entered our broken world so that after we have cried ourselves to sleep, we would awake up knowing there is a provision of mercy to help us get through the day.  That Jesus was born, Emmanuel: God with us, not to give us presents but to give us forgiveness, hope, his presence and his eternal life.     

xoxKaren