Your Alarm Clock

Hello Darling Friend of Mine!!

I am so happy to hear that your vacation is showing the potential of being enjoyable!! That is fabulous. I will take the presence of that massive grocery store as a blessing even though I am still unclear if that is actually possible. We will continue to pray that the Lord restores your family as you hang out on your holiday together.

The girls are enjoying your house and their Daddy’s presence immensely. It was so kind of you to think of us during this crazy season. We will take the upmost care of your house! We are having a grand time and we promise not to scare your neighbors.

Your email was filled with irony, unknown to you. We bless the name of Mickey Mouse every time we use your singing toaster. (How you put up with that appliance I will never know!!) But we have recently been engaged in a battle with another of your appliances…..family versus your silver alarm clock.

I first met your alarm clock Wednesday morning at 7:00am when it started to serenade me from your bedroom. It was a noisy musical greeting, but as I padded down the hall from the guestroom my heart was filled with goodwill. “Hello, Alarm Clock. You must be Stacey’s friend. I am the house sitter. I will not be needing your services. Here, let me push buttons and move switches so that our relationship can progress without you speaking.” Satisfied I had quieted your clock, I padded back down the hall. In my mind though, I was thinking to myself, “I wonder why I couldn’t find the off switch?”

My husband met your alarm clock on Thursday morning at 4:37am. Did I mention my husband was once a sailor and was in the first Gulf War? He still carries in his psyche some of the residual effects of loud noises in the dark. After my half clothed husband had ruled out car alarm and home invasion he moved back upstairs to meet Alarm Clock. His meeting with your chronometer was a bit more intense. To be fair, your Alarm Clock was not as pleasant to my husband. He did not sing, rather he beeped in what can only be called an aggressive manner. They had a terse and brief exchange which resulted in my husband unplugging Mr. Sassy-Silver-Square-Pants.

Though I was saddened they did not get along, I resolved to put the issue in the past and move on with great plans to sleep in. Imagine then, my surprise, to hear Alarm Clock at 4:37am this Friday morning. I ran swiftly down the hall before the unruly appliance awoke my husband. “Alarm clock! I thought my husband unplugged you! Are you attention seeking? Are you bitter that you have never been to Disneyland like Mr. Toaster? Please be quiet!!” I begged as I again pushed buttons and moved switches. After I had quieted Alarm Clock, I plodded back down the hall to get into bed. “I’m confused,” I thought to myself. “I was sure hubby unplugged that thing…..” I fell back to sleep before I could place the pieces together in my mind.

Imagine my astonishment, Stace and Denny, when I was awoken not five minutes later by the aforementioned unholy electronic terror! This time there was no love to be found in my heart. I grabbed the possessed silver demon by the head and charged into your bathroom with it under my arm to quiet its fury. I found the light switch and examined my tormentor. “How very clever,” I thought to myself as the mystery final revealed itself, “an alarm clock with two programmable times. Staggeringly brilliant. And to keep batteries in your alarm clock in case of a power outage! Fancy being so prepared!!!”

It has always been my heart to leave a house in good order when I house sit. I take great pains to clean a home, pray through it and try to organize a corner or a nook for the owners. Do no harm is my policy. After all, we have been blessed to be a blessing. But darling friends, one thing will not be the same when you return home from your trip. You will find Mr. Alarm Clock not beside the bed where you left him, but on the dresser with both batteries removed. I do hope you understand.

Enjoy your vacation,
Much love,
KB