I am sitting in my living room with my lap top, cup of tea by my side, marveling at the wonders of technology. Within an hour, I have sent pictures to a sister in Toronto, Skyped my brother in Hawaii, and watched the effects of a hurricane heading towards the east coast. I am now “up to speed”. I have noticed however, that there is a direct correlation between the amount of information I posses and the amount of anxiety I experience. This becomes especially true as I receive new of those I love who are struggling with life’s disappointments. I challenge you if your prayer life is suffering, join a web group and see if after three months you haven’t been encouraged to pray for others. It is hard not to increase your prayer time as others share their walk.
And so it is with my homeschooling friends; prayer requests come in for unexpected accidents, deaths, little pookies with health issues, white blood cell counts and broken hearts and lives. I was thirty-five when I realized that the carefree days I had previously experienced were over. I had in fact, grown up, and those around me were facing grown up struggles that were not part of our twenty- something existence. It dawned on me, that if I was going to keep walking with Jesus, I was going to have to increase the amount of time I spent in prayer. As one given easily to anxiety, it seemed I was spending more time wondering if God had the universe under control, as opposed to thanking Him that He did.
I suppose such revelations are part of growing older. As my prayer time increased however, I was surprised by the amount of time I spent arguing with the Lord. I was the living example of Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. Something was wrong; my prayers were laced with accusations and sounded petulant even to my ears. After some reflection, I realized why my prayers were so out of step with the Lord. I wanted to be delivered FROM my fears and the Lord desired to walk me THROUGH them. The list didn’t stop at my fears though; I wanted to be delivered from struggles, conflicts, inconveniences and all manner of things that caused me grief.
We all love a good deliverance story, God showing up, enemies fleeing, and victory being handed to the hero by the Lord himself. But I found myself walking beside those who were not being rescued in an afternoon. The people I know need the strength to get out of bed in the morning and to choose to serve their families. They need the strength not to give up, to go one more day in situations that have dragged on for years. I was at a loss to encourage them because I didn’t understand the great value of being taken through the storm. I was entirely interested in victory and uninterested in character.
Not so with our Jesus.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us… Romans 5:3-5
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1: 3-5
Qualities such as faith and perseverance are clearly important to our Lord. When I started to pray asking God for wisdom to get through the situations, I immediately became more peaceful. I wasn’t at the place where I was rejoicing yet, but I wasn’t trying to run from them either, which I counted as a success and a work of the Lord.
And so Sister, I find myself praying for you this afternoon. I pray that you will not make many of the foolish mistakes I have made as the Lord seeks to develop us by prayer. I pray you would know that as you walk through your battle that the Lord goes with you. That even if the burden is not being removed Jesus promises He will shoulder it with you. I pray that God would give you the strength to keep going, though every fiber of you has had enough. You are such a blessing, and your good work has not been forgotten by the Lord.
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10
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