I managed to pull off a quick conversation with a dear friend
this morning before the day jumped up and attacked me with its many
demands. Distance doesn’t stop our
teatime visits, I pour a cup, put on my headset and visit while folding
laundry. I have walked with this friend
since 1993, when our lives ran smack into each other and stuck. We have seen each other through some very
dark and lonely valleys. Though she is
not always the first person I call for prayer, she is always the one I phone
when I need to cry or vent in an emotional (if not ungodly) manner.
This morning I was stuck by the way God has walked her out
of a situation that used to cause daily distress and suffering. So many times, we beg to be delivered instantly,
wanting immediate relief from our pain.
Often, God walks us out by the scenic route, lingering long over rolling
hills of disappointment. Though we
cannot recognize the roads beauty, He travels with us, never rushing as He
shares our yoke of sorrow. It seems he
intentionally sits a while, as we tug at His sleeve, asking to walk in a
more pleasant meadow where grief and pain are absent.
……
It’s kind of frustrating really.
……
After I hung up, I was overwhelmed with
thankfulness. Thankful that she had the
resources to buy her family groceries, thankful her family members were
healthy, thankful God had seen her through.
It was a nice, resting in thanksgiving before God, because I knew her battle
had been difficult. It made me wonder
why it is a struggle to be thankful when
things are so hard.
In the last few years, I have intentionally battled to be thankful when all I wanted to do was curse. Sometimes I have succeeded and other times I have failed miserably. I wanted to remind you, that struggling to be thankful is always worth it. It isn't easy and it doesn't feel as comforting as self-pity, but thanksgiving is a skill worth practicing.
One of the things that vexes me no end, is the entirely
unrealistic world Christian women imagine they should inhabit. They waste precious resources feeling bad
their lives aren't perfect. If we live
within the walls of cultural Christianity, we forget that victory is
messy. My Christian life does not
resemble a tidy tin of breath mints with a stylized ichthys on the front. Take
the tin of breath mints, drop them on the floor, crush a third with a hammer,
have a child eat the rest and throw up on a pile of fresh laundry then add a
teenager complaining that she can’t find a clean shirt. Now you are entering my world sister-friend.
Scripture tells us to,
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will
of God in Christ Jesus for you (1Thes 5:18).
Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (Eph5:20).
AMEN! Yes, we
should and we must. But can we take a moment to give an example of what that
looks like, in case you have the tendency to be a bit of an unrealistic ninny-pants?
Two years ago, a well-meaning individual took advantage
of a very public opportunity to offer my family charity. The result was humiliation that took months
to get through. On that particular
Sunday, victory was found at 8:00 pm in the church parking lot. I was in the back of my car on my knees, my
shirt was soaked with tears as I thanked God for that person and their kind act. It took me about an hour and a half and the
help of a friend to actually mean it. I
had a headache, looked like I’d been hit by a truck, but when I went to bed
that night, God granted me peace. It was
a victory.
One more.
When I was pregnant, I had hyperemesis gravidarium which
is a fancy way of saying I was sick as a toad: so sick I couldn't stand
up. I was desperately ill one morning
and needed to go to the doctor, but I was stuck in the bathroom vomiting from
my toenails. I decided I needed to be
thankful but couldn't pull a coherent thought together. I actually remember thanking God that I had
consumed 7Up for breakfast because it was much easier to vomit than Coke. As I laid on the floor, I remember thanking
God that the floor was mopped and that it smelled like pine sol instead of
vomit.
I’m not sure that the last example was a moment of
victory, but I was definitely practicing being thankful. Can I urge you friend, practice being
thankful. Ask Jesus to help you find
something, anything to be thank Him for during the dark nights. You will find, if you can grab a tiny spark
of goodness to hold on to, that He will grow it and warm you by its fire. He is all the light you need.
I’m thinking about you this week,
xoxKaren
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