Sunday, March 29, 2015

Safe Harbor

I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.  1 Cor 4:14-15

It makes very little sense to get upset about things that are difficult to change.  Grumbling about lobbyists in government, environmental policies or the inconsistency in women’s clothing sizes, will not cause transformation.  To effect change, one must commit their resources and work with dedication toward a goal.  This is how people throughout history have made great things happen.  In theory it makes perfect sense but in practice, it can be really messy.

I found myself caught between the best of intentions and a real mess this week and frankly, I needed a hero.  Sadly, it wasn't a local situation or I would have asked my husband to don his proverbial cape and fix things.  Something he is very good at, after 18 years of marriage to his eternally well-meaning spouse. 

For the sake of clarity, this week I needed a hero, not a heroine.  What’s worse, I’ve needed a hero before.  One of the hats in my church wardrobe reads “Supporter of Single Mums.”  I have been blessed over the past 20 years, to walk alongside some amazing women who have embarked on an unsolicited journey.  The stories are sad, painful, glorious and hopeful.  While each voyage is unique, I have noticed that at some point in the expedition, Mum will take her boat onto the high seas and happen upon a storm. She will need to find shelter and inevitably she will end up in a harbor called Fatherlessness.

Can I confess something to you Friend?  I hate that place.  Her boat enters the harbor and we hit our knees.  In fact, the only way to get through that vexing town is with your face on the floor.  I cannot tell you how many tears I have wept there.  I was there again this week, hating every second, trying to find hope.

Don't think the Harbor of Fatherlessness means there are no good men present.  I know there are.  I've seen them.  In fact, the town actually has a large number of fathers, men who attend to their families and churches.  They read the bible and faithfully steward their possessions.  I think that is where the problem lies.  They are faithfully stewarding their possessions, not God’s. 

God owns a lot of stuff.  More importantly, God’s owns a lot of people and frankly, many of them are a mess.  If you haven’t noticed, where there are messes there are children.  I suspect that’s where an understanding of God breaks down.  The definition of fatherless is “not having a known or legally responsible father.”  As Christians, we don’t pray to “Father God” for no reason.  We are called to pray to our Father, because he alone is worthy of our praise and all together faithful to His covenant. 

So then, if God owns a host of fatherless children, wouldn't it be great if some of the men who knew how to be fathers shared a little bit of God’s heart with the motley brood?  I’m not saying it’s easy, because it isn't.  The only thing that is harder is trying to be father to a child when you are a mother.  That’s a really tricky one.  I've spent time here friend, I know what I’m talking about.

The other problem seems to be in the realm of unrealistic expectations.  Maybe the Father’s don’t know how much impact a little interaction with a Fatherless child can have.  As someone who walks alongside broken families, let me share some of the requests I have overheard before the throne of God.
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         -Lord, would a man at Sunday school please ask my son how he is doing?
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         -Father, if you could motivate her uncle to include her in the next family outing I would be so grateful.
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         -Jesus, if a man could just tell my son his new haircut looks sharp I know it would help.

Friend, these are not huge investments of time or resources.  They are small, mindful acts that might be a bit inconvenient.  I have heard these prayers from broken hearts.  God hears them.  He cares.  He calls us to care for his treasured possessions.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Don’t know how to get started Man of God?  Here are a few suggestions.
        
       -Ask your wife or a friend how much money she would spend on a baby shower gift.  Purchase that amount of money in bubble gum.  Ask a Sunday school teacher if there are any fatherless kids in your church.  Meet their parent, go out of your way.  Tell them God put their child on their heart, ask permission to give them gum.  Meet the child.  Say “Little dude!  God thinks you are awesome!  Have some gum.”  Smile.  Tell them they are amazing.  Then go drink coffee.
        
       -Look a fatherless child in the eyes and say, “Little man of God, you are amazing!  How was your week?”  Repeat every week until they can look straight back at you.
        
       -Ask a hoodlum looking fatherless teen how they are doing.  Ask if they have any prayer requests.  Then ask them if they can pray for you that week.  Share a small problem with them.  Tell them you know they hear God, ask them to let you know if they get any scripture for you.  See what happens.  If they come back with scripture, listen, write down what they say.  Buy them a mocha-frappe-latte at the caffeine station.   

Man of God it is not difficult.  There are so few who invest their lives in little people.  I pray that God would inspire you this week.  That you would start to invest in His kingdom, and that you, like our forefather Abraham, would rise up and "father" many.

I’m praying for you this week.

xoxKaren



My Dad looked after "little people" in my home town as a pediatrician for 33 years.  He used to paint. This is one of his miniatures.

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