Sunday, May 13, 2018

Mother's Day (Repost 2015)

Happy Mother’s Day Friend.

Oh how I have missed you!  Are you well caffeinated?  How is your heart today?  I ask because Mother’s Day can be rough.  Like many holidays, the Hallmark card misses many of the real heart issues behind the calendar event.   I was praying for you last night.  Trying to post on any special day is a bit of a nightmare, because inevitably I will say something stupid that might upset you.  By the time I fell asleep, I was hoping that the start to your day would be a good one.  That somehow, by God’s grace, you wouldn't feel alone on a day that is intended to bless.

I have been on the phone a lot this week.  In fact, by the time Friday hit I was utterly unfit for human interaction.  Too much talking and not enough prayer or sleep caught up with me.  I sniffled my way through the better part of the afternoon until my husband came home, made me tea and then insisted I have a nap.  He is a wise man. The point is, there is a lot going on in the world of motherhood.  It isn’t a place for cowards.  Maybe it would help if I shared what Mother’s Day looks like for some of the wonderful people in my world.

My first interaction this morning was with a darling cookie of a woman who has just come back from an extended time away.  She flew into town only to realize her family had come into contact with some evil form of stomach virus on the flight home.  In the early morning hours, her husband (chief chef of mother’s day) became ill.  She was last sighted in her kitchen, feeding her children, wandering in circles, tending to her man, with no sign of celebration on the horizon.  Motherhood involves trenches.

Another call last weekend had me speaking with a favorite person in my world.  At 46, she has been happily married to a lovely man for decades although they have never had children.  That is until God pulled a fast one and blessed her with an unexpected gift.  Later this year, at the age of 47, she will become a mother for the first time.  Talk about an unexpected turn of events.  Motherhood leads us into new territory.

One of my closest friends had me rethinking motherhood two months ago.  Every six months or so, I go out with two friends for dinner.  We share food, fun and get the Spark notes on each other’s spiritual lives.   We consume chocolate, salt and laughter.  While navigating roads in the U district, my friend exclaimed, “Oh, look!  You guys can see the building where I was inseminated.”  I would have said something, but my jaw had gotten lost somewhere on the floor in the back of the car.  This darling heart waited 13 years to have children.  Turning to alternate methods, she now is the mother of a beautiful family.  It is safe to say, that the memories she holds of getting pregnant are radically different than mine.  There are different roads to motherhood my friend and not all of them are laced with daisies. 

The beach is the first place my friend “Tina” goes on mother’s day.  She gets up early and sneaks out of the house.  At the beach, she walks and prays.  It is an annual pilgrimage.   There, under grey skies, the cold waters of the Sound wash away poisonous childhood memories.  Every year she chooses to be thankful and every year she adds beautiful new memories to the word Mother.  She sneaks back into the house a couple hours later, and waits in bed until a pajama clad little brings her coffee and burnt toast. 

The most somber thoughts I had this week revolved around a woman who successfully invested in her family her entire life.  My thoughts branched from there, to the many mothers who are now in their seventies, eighties and nineties.  As end of life issues present themselves, we are overcome with emotions and memories that span lifetimes.  How can you possibly thank someone for pouring their life in yours?  How do you quantify the tears, heartache and dedication it takes to raise a child?  More than that, how do you possibly begin to appreciate the discipline of denying self in order to invest in another’s life? 

Thankfulness is my first guess: gratitude and thankfulness.  My own Mummy raised 6 children and I have no memories of her grumbling as much as I do.   Which brings us to one of the defining characteristics of great mothers.  Great mothers love.  They teach us how to love, to serve and to live.  There is so much for which to be thankful.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends... so now faith, hope and love abide, these three: but the greatest of these is love.  
1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13

I am praying for you today my friend.  I don’t know if you are on the mountain or in the valley, but I pray that God’s love will find you there. 

xoxK 



  

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