Fires and Failure

It was when she brought out the diesel fuel that I began to get nervous.  I expect Jess to do mildly dangerous things on a frequent basis but our relationship had never been tried by fire accelerant before.  Moving the nozzle on the hose to “JET STREAM” and readying my fingers on the handle I scolded, “I think this might be a really bad idea.”  “Don’t be so nervous,” was the retort.  “My dad used to clear land when I was a kid, we had bonfires that lasted for days.”  I paused, caught in that weird place where someone provides reasoning that proves your original point, not theirs.  “Umm, like I said, I’m not sure of the wisdom of this.” “Live a little, oofff…” she grunted and she hauled the canister off the ground and tipped it at the same time.  “After all, we are making memories…”

A weekend on the peninsula was just the thing to lift my spirits after returning to my regular schedule. I wanted to visit with this family for 4 months before the right time presented itself.  Jess and I catch up every couple weeks but her recent move means we need to get intentional if we want to connect.  I packed the car and hopped the ferry with excitement.  A weekend with Jess means copious amounts of tea, masses of healthy food and a fair amount of chocolate to boot.  (Healthy: ridiculously so.  One day I stopped in at lunch time and her children were eating oven-roasted carrots.  Carrots.  Roasted.  In the oven... for lunch.  You might not be able to see me, but I’m looking meaningfully at you.)

I am pleased to report my girlfriend did not set fire to the farm house or any of the outbuildings.  However, I learned that she has a threshold for excitement that far exceeds my own: one of the reasons I enjoy her company.  Truth demands I tell you that whenever we get together, something will go wrong.  This is after all the woman who accidentally drove up to the naked barista coffee stand with a car full of children (Costly Coffee, Nov 2014).

Minor miscommunication meant our arrival at her house coincided with the commencement of winter basketball league. Being versatile, we took two cars and split the children up.  I got the older girls and she took the rest.  She would go to the gym and I would meet her there an hour and half later.  We waved goodbye and headed into town.  The town itself was delightfully small.  The girls and I putzed about as dusk fell and the shops closed up for the evening.  After our allotted time was coming to a close, we jumped in the car and headed for the gym. 

We would have headed for the gym if the gps on my phone was being agreeable.  Apparently, it was having an off day and decided to send me to the wrong location.  I fussed at it, forgave it and started off for our destination a second time.  Wrong location.  Now would be a good time to mention that one of the differences between large and small towns is the amount of light when darkness falls.  There wasn’t any.  The stars were gorgeous but I would have given a great deal for a bunch of neon lighting at that point, anything to act as a landmark.  I didn’t know the area and it was clear my phone didn’t either.  It was lying its screen off.  Faced with a decision, I gave in and called Jess to confess I was lost.  It wasn't the first time.  Strangely, she didn’t answer her phone.  Deciding to strike out on my own, I left the incredibly dark field where the stars shone brightly in order to find the gym.  I continued to call my friend and she continued to ignore my calls.  After 15 minutes, we happened upon a streetlight and as luck would have it there was a strategically placed street sign.    Five more minutes and I was pulling into the parking lot.  Jess called as I put the car in park. Better late than never.

She apologized for not answering her phone.  It wasn’t intentional, the littles distracted her and she locked her phone and keys in the car.  She had to borrow a stranger’s cell phone and call the auto center to request someone come out and unlock it.  It had taken a while, but here she was and did I need anything? I thanked her for being no help whatsoever and found her in the gym three seconds later. 

That evening, I was reflecting on the mix up.  Two people, needing help, unable to meet the need of the other.  Does that sound familiar?  Marriage, friendship, and work all provide opportunities for mishaps.  Sometimes life happens hard and we get bruised.  In our need, we cannot meet the needs of others.  Demand outstrips supply and we are left feeling uncared for, unsupported and unloved.  Intentional or not, there is a place to turn when such thoughts and feelings surface.

For he delivers the needy when he calls,

the poor and him who has no helper.

He has pity on the weak and the needy,

and saves the lives of the needy.

From oppression and violence he redeems their life,

and precious is their blood in his sight.

Psalm 72:12-14

Even when life happens my friend, the Lord’s eye is on you.  Hardship and silence must not be interpreted as neglect and unkindness.  You are loved.  His eye is upon you.  My prayer is that we meet the needs of others this coming year and in doing so, that our eyes may be opened to his faithfulness when the fires burn hot.

I’m praying for you this week,

xoxK

P.S.  Thanks for the wonderful weekend friend.  You are amazing.