Watch Your Step

“Karen?”  I lifted my head and focused my eyes on the man standing in front of me. The chair I was in was most uncomfortable, I have no idea how I managed to fall asleep.  “Yes, still here.  Where are we in this mess?”

"Well it’s getting late.  We’ve had an emergency, why don’t you take your daughter home and she can come in tomorrow morning.”  Instantly, I was wide awake.  “You have got to be joking.  There is no way I’m taking her home.  I’ve been waiting for 4 hours.  I can’t take her home like this, we will wait if we have too.” 

He looked at me and smiled, “Okay, I’ll tell them.  Hold on.”  With that, he turned, patted my daughter’s good foot and said, “Hang on there Tiger.”

My nine year old turned to me and exclaimed, “Did he want me to go home without fixing me?”  Amazement was written across her pale face.  “Noooo way. That would be horrible.  I can’t sleep, it feels so awful.”  Her eyes filled with tears and threatened to spill over. “It’s okay bunny,” I assured her.  “We aren’t leaving.  We will get this taken care of, don’t worry.”  I sat in surprised silence.  ‘Go home?  With half a needle in her foot?  Are they out of their minds, like I’m going to drive home again, put her to bed only to have her melt down when the discomfort hits…….' I realized I was wringing my hands as my self-talk walked me down paths of unrighteous dread.  I sighed and started praying. 

That’s not entirely true.  

First, I texted my husband and blessed him with a caustic analysis of the doctor’s state of mind.  “This doctor is insane.  He actually suggested I take her home because they are busy.  I think he might be one of those guys who is so overwhelmed he takes drugs.  Maybe he’s been awake for three days straight.  I expect he doesn’t have children yet…”  My hubby reassured me the physician in question was not a drug addict and was trying to lessen my wait time.  I preferred to viciously attack the doctor’s outlandish suggestion because I was feeling cross and wanted to take it out on someone.  

That’s actually when I started praying. 

The last few hours had been horrible and I couldn’t believe anyone would suggest we return home without getting the blasted needle out of my child’s foot.  It happened so suddenly. I looked at the copy of the x-ray on my lap. Uncanny really.  How she had managed to skiff her foot across the floor with enough force to cause the needle to enter it was mysterious.  That she snapped the end off when she stepped down, causing the internal piece to disappear under her skin, was frightening.  Big sister found what was left of the offending metal in the carpet, husband gave me a meaningful look and we were off to the emergency room.

Four hours later, a nice doctor was suggesting I take my child home.  I wondered what he was thinking.  What would possess anyone to hang on to something that painful when it could be removed?  Every time she moved her toes, the metal slipped deeper into her foot.  It was uncomfortable, unpleasant and unbearable. 

“Karen?”  

“Still here, hello.”  I turned and smiled.  “Any news?” 

“You bet. I’ve pulled together a team.  We’ve had a busy night, but I’ve grabbed some nurses.  We’ll start surgery in about 15 minutes, okay?”   

An hour and a half later I was piggy backing my little up the stairs to our flat.  The clock read 2:00 am as I helped her put on jammies and boosted her into bed.  Ducking into my bedroom, I told my man all was well.  I brushed my teeth, grabbed a blanket and returned to the living room.  I needed a moment to think before I slept. I thanked the Lord for medical care, for those who minister in hospitals and for little girls before I drifted off.  

Months later, I’m still amazed the doctor tried to send us home without treatment.  He was minimizing the need to get rid of the needle.  As if my daughter would be fine to return home, despite the fact she was unable to walk or move without pain.  It got me to thinking about how I sometimes I ignore my sinful behavior and am content to let sin continue unchecked.  Like the doctor, I pretend the offending object can stay put, until a more convenient time to remove it.  It is human nature to pretend our sinful behaviors don't exist.  We accuse others of materialism but don't pay our tithes.  We watch filthy shows online even though we know such viewing is unacceptable.  We ignore our own misbehavior.  It is good to remember that the Lord isn't fooled by our willful blindness.  

Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's[b] seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.    By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. 1 John 3:7-10

When I consider scripture, God is able to convict me of behaviors and attitudes that must cease.  What about you dear friend?  Do you have anything outrageously misplaced in your world?  Anything lodged in your life that is making it hard to walk with the Lord?  An unclean allegiance, a destructive habit or shameful secret can do a lot of damage if left to fester.   I have found over and over again, that if we are honest and spend time in the discipline of prayer, God will condescend to help us in our weakness.  He alone can remove our offense and pain in order to get us walking alongside him again.

I pray that on this Father’s day, you might know the goodness of God and find the healing you seek.

I’m praying for you,

xoxKaren