Food for Thought

My casserole was not happy like this one.  Mine was mean spirited and angry.

I am hopeless at making French toast casserole.

Having lived comfortably in denial for years now, I feel it is time to set myself free and confess because it’s been weighing on my heart for a good 3 hours now.  I don’t want to get personal too quickly, but it is vexing for someone who is a competent cook.  Not having anything against French toast personally, I find it hard to figure out what goes wrong when I make it.  According to food bloggers French toast casserole will simplify my life and give me new found self-respect as I mix eggy custard with bread chunks.  The mixing of these basic ingredients with a metric ton of sugar will bring harmony to my morning and set my family up for a symphony of happiness. 

But it never works.

To start, I am always scraping the bottom of the refrigerator when I decide to make it.  When all of the tasty food leaves my fridge and I’m starting at 6 eggs, 3 sticks of wilted celery and a whole bunch of nothing, I think, “Oh, I’ll try French toast casserole that will save me.”  But it never does. I expect it has something to do with my reluctance to add sugar to an egg dish.  In my mind, the two don’t go together.  However, using bread as a food medium means that you need to flavor the doughy mass somehow and this is the second place I miss the mark.  Can we talk about cinnamon for a moment?

Cinnamon is a great spice when it isn’t being used by a heavy handed, mean spirited cook with nasal congestion. There is little moderation where cinnamon is concerned, especially in commercial baked goods.  In terms of flavor words like subtle and nuanced are swept aside and replaced by cloying and noxious.  I suspect my lack of opinion on the matter has something to do with my reluctance to use the requisite amount of spice. There are other ways to enhance the casserole, most of which involve adding butter or cream cheese and I can’t do that without feeling like I am raising the cholesterol level of the entire neighborhood. Sticking to poached eggs and dry toast would be a better idea.  So this morning after forcing my children to eat left over casserole, I decided maybe I should try following the recipe directions or stop trying to make it all together.

Have you got anything like that in your life my friend?  Something you don’t do particularly well, but won’t take instruction to fix because you have your own opinions about how things should work? It can be a casserole, a relationship, a financial habit, a problem that could be fixed but you battle an unwillingness to exert the effort to do things correctly.  Or maybe like me, you don’t even battle anymore; you are okay with substandard and have given up hope of anything better.

One of the most awesome things about the Lord is his commitment to redemption.  No place is he unwilling to concern himself with if approached by a willing heart.  One of the first things to consider though is if I am doing what I’m supposed to be doing in the first place.  I can’t expect a relationship to improve if I’m unwilling to speak the truth much like I can’t expect my casserole to taste respectable when using only half the ingredients. I suspect a good number of Christians are waiting for spiritual direction on matters without doing the last thing they were instructed to do. People are fallen like that, kind of like me and my flat casserole.

This week I’m spending some time thinking about the things I’m doing that are daft, pointless and frustrating. I’m praying for you if you find yourself in the same boat, wanting to change but lacking the agency. Hoping you will find the reserves to approach the Lord yet again, to ask for a change of heart.  To ask him for a taste for something new and life giving, which is more than a breakfast casserole can ever be.

xoxKaren  

photo comes from  http://www.mtmtv.info.  I expect they are good at cooking too.

Grief, Gossip and God

Hello My Friend!

Are you having a good week?  Fall has arrived, which doesn’t explain why temperatures were registering upwards of 90 in your neck of the woods.  The rain appeared here with vengeance.  Roads turned into streams as the clouds turned on like a faucet, turning everything a stylish grey.  It’s been the kind of weekend where books, blankets and bare feet appear as loved ones hunker down on couches to read the afternoon away.

I’m actually fairly moody at the moment, grumpy even.  The week wasn’t easy as I witnessed 2 circumstances where the long term effects of gossip came back to roost over someone’s life like an ominous vulture, large, dark and foreboding. Perplexing the way words are uttered and their power continues to shape the landscape long after the speaker remembers what they said. 

The first situation involves a young man who felt attracted to a woman from church.  He spent time investing in their friendship and an easy camaraderie grew between them.  Progressing slowly, my friend stayed accountable to many as their relationship grew.  Suddenly and without warning, the woman in question withdrew her friendship with no explanation whatsoever.  Feeling foolish and confused, he continued to be as kind as possible trying not to cause a fuss, hoping the situation would reconcile.  It didn’t.  Some months later, it was discovered this young man had been spoken against by someone who felt free to offer their opinion, despite the fact the opinion offered wasn’t based in truth.  A potential relationship died.

The next situation was based in the workplace, a true bastion of gossip hell not unlike the grounds of Mordor. The review of a large project led to the detailed questioning of a specific department.  An insecure employee viewed scrutiny as an excuse to panic as opposed to an opportunity to speak truth to a complicated situation.  With 15 minutes of cowardly speech, someone’s livelihood was on the line, not to mention the healthcare of their family member.   An entire family’s livelihood and health was taken apart by leadership that didn’t care about truth, preferring action as opposed to intelligence.

Both of these situations seemed overwhelming.  Where do you find help when the opportunity to confront lies has passed?  How do you fight what you can’t see, didn’t create and don’t understand?  It’s rough.  I heard John Piper say that by the time you are aware of a problem, God is already working on the solution. Holding on to such truth is hard to do when a heart is bent on confrontation and correction.  The problem is, defensive confrontation rarely brings the results one desires.  Mind you, that doesn’t ever stop me from fiercely arguing with someone in my mind, a counterproductive habit I’m trying to cut back on. How does faith work when gossip is devastating lives?  

Nothing tests our faith like trials and trials show us how much we trust the Lord – or not.  Trust is defined as: relying on the truthfulness or accuracy of, to place a confidence in.  While it is easy to give lip service to the issue of trust, in trials we often realize our need to entrust a situation to Him. Entrust means to commit to another with confidence, and if I’m going to commit a situation involving gossip to the Lord, it doesn’t mean I get to take it back when panic or anger sets in. If I’ve been the target of gossip, the harder thing to do is to entrust the situation to the Lord, and keep my own mouth shut.

The bible mentions gossip a great deal and it is fair to say God really doesn’t like it.  However, God really loves his people, and we are assured that God takes an interest in both our lives and those who seek to destroy the lives of others.  So instead of sending letters or making phone calls in order to express my own thoughts on ugly matters, I am forgoing Netflix and spending time on my knees in prayer. All the time I will be fighting to entrust the situation to the Lord. Rest assured that the Lord hears every word that is spoken and is fully aware of what has been spoken against me and what I have spoken against others.

The good man brings good things out of his good store of treasure, and the evil man brings evil things out of his evil store of treasure. But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”…

So I am praying for you this week my friend, if you bare the invisible scars gossip leaves on the psyche.  That you would know that there is one who undertakes for you behind the scenes, who is listening to your hearts cry, and who has many, many lovely things to say about you.

XoxKaren

Lessons Learned

Right: chia Left: poppy

I’m not certain how I feel about chia seeds. 

Not that chia seeds take up a great deal of my time, you understand, but I thought I should confess it before we get too far along.  The only reason I have a large mason jar with chia seeds in my kitchen is because I went to Costco and mistook them for another food.  They reappeared the other day when one of my children discovered a chia seed pudding recipe that she thought might be revolutionary if not mildly life changing.  Backing out of the room, I allowed my offspring free range of the kitchen and its ingredients as she embarked on her upscale alchemy session. 

One of the tricky things about being a parent of teens is, although you have been functional long enough to pull off having a child and rearing it to get its own driver’s license, your presence is sometimes unwelcome. I decided staying out of the way was probably the wisest option as my girl set out on new culinary adventures.

I managed to distract myself happily until a jar was shaken under my nose. “Mum are these chia seeds?”

“No, those are poppy seeds. Why?”  Teen sighs loudly and marches out of the room.  “Well that explains it,” Teen says to bowl of impostor seeds in what can only be called an accusatory and outright aggressive tone.  “Mum?”   

“Put them in a jar and I will use the mixture to make a lemon poppy seed cake.  No worry.”  I tacked that last phrase on to encourage the alchemy after what seemed to be a disappointing start.  “Thank you,” came the cry from the kitchen followed by the clanging of bowls. 

The next cue from the kitchen was the scent of oats cooking.  “What are you making now?” I asked sniffing the air.  “Granola.  I’ve found a sugar free recipe that I think might be nice.”

“Excellent.”  I was continuing my theme of encouragement.

About 20 minutes later the smell of oats when from pleasantly toasty to toasty burnt.  “Umm bunny?” I asked without asking anything, which is a pretty clever trick.

“I know,” came the terse reply.  I heard the oven open some very serious muttering and then the question, “Just how expensive are oats anyway?”

“Not very, just put them in the compost.”  I answered keeping my voice level.  I was owning the whole supportive routine by this point, though I sorely wanted to ask what temperature she put the oats on.  I refrained and maintained harmony.

The truth is my girl’s kitchen time was productive despite a few minor major mistakes.  She even found a recipe or two that will be used again which is no small feat when you consider the amount of inaccurate recipes on the internet.  What struck me though, as I listened to her, was the amount of trial and error that is involved in learning a new skill. 

In our world of instant gratification, we rarely have time to appreciate the small victories that comprise the achievement of a goal.  If you aren’t a runner, there will be a lot of gasping for air on the side of the road before you finish your first 5K.  If you aren’t good at setting boundaries, you are going to be thought awkward as you stammer your way out of a volunteer opportunity.  If you are scared of standing up for yourself, you’re likely to raise your voice the first time you confront someone who takes advantage of you. 

New skills are worth learning despite the messes we make along the way. We have a lot of grace for children as they learn new skills but less for those who are older and making a hash of it.  And so I’m thinking and praying for those of us who are attempting new things and looking foolish at the same time.  I pray you might have the grace to keep trying and to move on past the mistakes that come with the process of learning something new. 

My girl will attest that not all honest attempts yield successful results.

“Darling, these chia breakfast puddings have been in the fridge a while now.  Are you eating them…or do you need me to make them disappear?”

“Mum, I’m not gonna lie.  When you said you could make them disappear, my heart got really happy and I felt way better.”

Preach.

xoxKaren