Lessons Learned

Right: chia Left: poppy

I’m not certain how I feel about chia seeds. 

Not that chia seeds take up a great deal of my time, you understand, but I thought I should confess it before we get too far along.  The only reason I have a large mason jar with chia seeds in my kitchen is because I went to Costco and mistook them for another food.  They reappeared the other day when one of my children discovered a chia seed pudding recipe that she thought might be revolutionary if not mildly life changing.  Backing out of the room, I allowed my offspring free range of the kitchen and its ingredients as she embarked on her upscale alchemy session. 

One of the tricky things about being a parent of teens is, although you have been functional long enough to pull off having a child and rearing it to get its own driver’s license, your presence is sometimes unwelcome. I decided staying out of the way was probably the wisest option as my girl set out on new culinary adventures.

I managed to distract myself happily until a jar was shaken under my nose. “Mum are these chia seeds?”

“No, those are poppy seeds. Why?”  Teen sighs loudly and marches out of the room.  “Well that explains it,” Teen says to bowl of impostor seeds in what can only be called an accusatory and outright aggressive tone.  “Mum?”   

“Put them in a jar and I will use the mixture to make a lemon poppy seed cake.  No worry.”  I tacked that last phrase on to encourage the alchemy after what seemed to be a disappointing start.  “Thank you,” came the cry from the kitchen followed by the clanging of bowls. 

The next cue from the kitchen was the scent of oats cooking.  “What are you making now?” I asked sniffing the air.  “Granola.  I’ve found a sugar free recipe that I think might be nice.”

“Excellent.”  I was continuing my theme of encouragement.

About 20 minutes later the smell of oats when from pleasantly toasty to toasty burnt.  “Umm bunny?” I asked without asking anything, which is a pretty clever trick.

“I know,” came the terse reply.  I heard the oven open some very serious muttering and then the question, “Just how expensive are oats anyway?”

“Not very, just put them in the compost.”  I answered keeping my voice level.  I was owning the whole supportive routine by this point, though I sorely wanted to ask what temperature she put the oats on.  I refrained and maintained harmony.

The truth is my girl’s kitchen time was productive despite a few minor major mistakes.  She even found a recipe or two that will be used again which is no small feat when you consider the amount of inaccurate recipes on the internet.  What struck me though, as I listened to her, was the amount of trial and error that is involved in learning a new skill. 

In our world of instant gratification, we rarely have time to appreciate the small victories that comprise the achievement of a goal.  If you aren’t a runner, there will be a lot of gasping for air on the side of the road before you finish your first 5K.  If you aren’t good at setting boundaries, you are going to be thought awkward as you stammer your way out of a volunteer opportunity.  If you are scared of standing up for yourself, you’re likely to raise your voice the first time you confront someone who takes advantage of you. 

New skills are worth learning despite the messes we make along the way. We have a lot of grace for children as they learn new skills but less for those who are older and making a hash of it.  And so I’m thinking and praying for those of us who are attempting new things and looking foolish at the same time.  I pray you might have the grace to keep trying and to move on past the mistakes that come with the process of learning something new. 

My girl will attest that not all honest attempts yield successful results.

“Darling, these chia breakfast puddings have been in the fridge a while now.  Are you eating them…or do you need me to make them disappear?”

“Mum, I’m not gonna lie.  When you said you could make them disappear, my heart got really happy and I felt way better.”

Preach.

xoxKaren