Sunday, September 23, 2018

Grief, Gossip and God




Hello My Friend!

Are you having a good week?  Fall has arrived, which doesn’t explain why temperatures were registering upwards of 90 in your neck of the woods.  The rain appeared here with vengeance.  Roads turned into streams as the clouds turned on like a faucet, turning everything a stylish grey.  It’s been the kind of weekend where books, blankets and bare feet appear as loved ones hunker down on couches to read the afternoon away.

I’m actually fairly moody at the moment, grumpy even.  The week wasn’t easy as I witnessed 2 circumstances where the long term effects of gossip came back to roost over someone’s life like an ominous vulture, large, dark and foreboding. Perplexing the way words are uttered and their power continues to shape the landscape long after the speaker remembers what they said. 

The first situation involves a young man who felt attracted to a woman from church.  He spent time investing in their friendship and an easy camaraderie grew between them.  Progressing slowly, my friend stayed accountable to many as their relationship grew.  Suddenly and without warning, the woman in question withdrew her friendship with no explanation whatsoever.  Feeling foolish and confused, he continued to be as kind as possible trying not to cause a fuss, hoping the situation would reconcile.  It didn’t.  Some months later, it was discovered this young man had been spoken against by someone who felt free to offer their opinion, despite the fact the opinion offered wasn’t based in truth.  A potential relationship died.

The next situation was based in the workplace, a true bastion of gossip hell not unlike the grounds of Mordor. The review of a large project led to the detailed questioning of a specific department.  An insecure employee viewed scrutiny as an excuse to panic as opposed to an opportunity to speak truth to a complicated situation.  With 15 minutes of cowardly speech, someone’s livelihood was on the line, not to mention the healthcare of their family member.   An entire family’s livelihood and health was taken apart by leadership that didn’t care about truth, preferring action as opposed to intelligence.

Both of these situations seemed overwhelming.  Where do you find help when the opportunity to confront lies has passed?  How do you fight what you can’t see, didn’t create and don’t understand?  It’s rough.  I heard John Piper say that by the time you are aware of a problem, God is already working on the solution. Holding on to such truth is hard to do when a heart is bent on confrontation and correction.  The problem is, defensive confrontation rarely brings the results one desires.  Mind you, that doesn’t ever stop me from fiercely arguing with someone in my mind, a counterproductive habit I’m trying to cut back on. How does faith work when gossip is devastating lives?  

Nothing tests our faith like trials and trials show us how much we trust the Lord – or not.  Trust is defined as: relying on the truthfulness or accuracy of, to place a confidence in.  While it is easy to give lip service to the issue of trust, in trials we often realize our need to entrust a situation to Him. Entrust means to commit to another with confidence, and if I’m going to commit a situation involving gossip to the Lord, it doesn’t mean I get to take it back when panic or anger sets in. If I’ve been the target of gossip, the harder thing to do is to entrust the situation to the Lord, and keep my own mouth shut.

The bible mentions gossip a great deal and it is fair to say God really doesn’t like it.  However, God really loves his people, and we are assured that God takes an interest in both our lives and those who seek to destroy the lives of others.  So instead of sending letters or making phone calls in order to express my own thoughts on ugly matters, I am forgoing Netflix and spending time on my knees in prayer. All the time I will be fighting to entrust the situation to the Lord. Rest assured that the Lord hears every word that is spoken and is fully aware of what has been spoken against me and what I have spoken against others.

The good man brings good things out of his good store of treasure, and the evil man brings evil things out of his evil store of treasure. But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”…

So I am praying for you this week my friend, if you bare the invisible scars gossip leaves on the psyche.  That you would know that there is one who undertakes for you behind the scenes, who is listening to your hearts cry, and who has many, many lovely things to say about you.

XoxKaren

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