Sunday, December 30, 2018

Taking 2019 By Storm




I still remember the afternoon we met the specialist at the hospital.  The words she used were terrifying, phrases like “blood incompatibility and potential harm” rolled off her tongue with an ease that made me cringe.  My life was about to change and I wasn’t aware I was going in for more than a check-up.  During that hour long visit, I learned about a crisis I didn’t understand, heard a language I didn’t speak and met a list of characters I didn’t know existed.  That would have been fine but it was my crisis, my life and my future we were discussing.  I remember holding my husband’s hand tightly and trying to breathe and crying: I remember a lot of crying.

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The morning was grey, cold and gusty.  The wind was picking up and the forecast was calling for a storm to hit.  For many people, that means an afternoon indoors, but for a certain few it means bundling up and heading to the water for a walk.  My Dad taught me that there are gems to be seen during storms which are not visible at any other time: be it an eagle or a seal riding their respective currents, storms are for catching sight of treasure. Consequently, I called for a family outing as the winds started. My family hustled to get ready and out the door we went.  Which is how twenty minutes later I found myself in inclement weather with a handful of the Pacific Northwest’s finest.

I love the sight of those who come out in storms.  I enjoy smiling at those who walk by, hunched over by the wind, rain stinging our faces as we peer out to give each other a knowing smile: “Yep. We are amazing, this is the best.”  But something else entirely takes over when I see those who have come out with the sole intention to play in a storm.   My gut reaction is a primal thrill that makes me want to scream for joy.  Our area is replete with outdoor enthusiasts and if you are lucky, you can watch such a person display their mastery, the bad weather enhancing rather than weakening their performance.  Their ability to manage the increased pressures in their environment allows them to reach heights in their sport that cannot be attained in regular weather. 

The wind blowing off the water was icy and hit the van head on we entered the parking lot.  Looking to the water, I spotted a lone parachute, the insane person attached to the contraption not yet visible. I ran toward the water, my family following behind.  There beyond the pylons, were two brave souls: a kite boarder and windsurfer hurling over the slate grey seas.  I was overjoyed.  We watched them for quite a while, skipping off waves and leaping in the air on their boards, as our extremities cooled and our ears began to ache.  The windsurfer hurled into shore for a few moments before heading back out again.  My children watched overjoyed at the sight.  They claimed the weather was “perfect” as they stood on shore in rapt admiration.

We marched down the board walk in an attempt to stop hypothermia from taking hold.  Cormorants, scoters and gulls dove and played in the waves as we strolled by admiring their buoyancy and fishing abilities.  Walking down the pier we observed old men tend their crab pots as the waters below the dock churned.  We held our course until our youngest declared she was turning numb and headed back toward the beach.  Managing the cold for about ninety minutes I’d call it a successful blustery outing.

Climbing back into the van, I was thinking about storms.  You can’t go through a trial in Christendom without running headlong into a storm metaphor somewhere in your experience.  Whether you look online or in print, you will find parallels drawn between periods of suffering and the weathering of storms. I find such teachings deeply comforting.  Many liken storms to testing, a process wherein God refines your character as you experience circumstances beyond human control.  To survive a storm there seems to be an essential component of surrender, a place wherein those suffering accept the inconvenience and pain of their circumstance, in order endure the time allotted to their suffering. Sadly that would not be me.  My first reaction is to protest and feel persecuted.  It isn't natural for me to don a positive attitude or to metaphorically hop on a board, grab a parachute and find anything enjoyable about my winds of misfortune.  I’d rather whimper.

But what is a person to do, when providence has decided that you will remain in a storm until the terror in your heart subsides?  What if the purpose of your storm is to build a testimony for others: a testimony of overcoming and the faithfulness of God?  Well, I can tell you quite honestly that is the space where many a bad attitude has been born and has died.  Yes, I am speaking from experience.  If you are like me (and I pray that you aren’t) you are more interested in getting out of the storm than staying in it.  Be darned if you are in the surf beside me!  Go on YouTube and find your own sermon, I’m trying to tread water without drowning.

Of course dear friend, this is not the purpose of our storms.  The purpose of storms is that we, by God’s grace, overcome them and provide comfort for others who come after us.  This is how testimonies and ministries are born.  If someone is facing a cancer diagnosis, the first person they will call is one who has been through the trial in order to gain wisdom and insight.  It’s hard to minister to a friend if you are curled up in the fetal position under your bed.  Yet this is where I’m inclined to want to stay when storms strike, nursing my own hurts and wounds. 

Our children declared that only hot chocolate could warm their frozen bodies and so we stopped inside a grocery store equipped with a beverage stand.  My husband went off to hunt lunch in the isles while I ordered drinks.  I sighed, musing on storms, wind surfers and whether or not I would ever manage to endure my trial with grace and patience.  It was then (without a word of a lie) I saw the barista look up at the ceiling and say to another customer, “Yes, he came in here about an hour ago.  Maybe it was to get out of the weather.”  I looked up.


There in the rafters, was this fellow.  He’s a hawk in case you can’t tell and no, he isn’t made for the indoors, regardless of the rough weather outside. Looks wrong doesn’t it?  I was immediately taken with thoughts for his survival, “Hey sir, you need to get out of here.  This is no place for you.” Though I cannot say that God spoke to me directly, it did make me think that I was being given an illustrated example of why God’s people must resist the temptation to lie down and give up when confronted by adversity.  I suspect it is because we were made by God to overcome it. 

So as we move again into a new year, my thoughts are with you dear friend.  The coming year is bound to hold victories and defeats for all as well as a storm or two.  My prayer starting with myself is that despite the pain and suffering we will be able to withstand trials with by the grace he provides.  By loving the Lord with all our heart, mind and strength we might decide to learn in our adversity knowing that there is great value in pain and much to be learned in times of adversity.  I pray that we would grow brave not faint and that God would deliver us from our fears.


The crying stopped eventually.  As I was welcomed and knit into my corner of the medical community, I learned that my trial was not impossible but lonely, scary and occasionally painful.  Despite my unhappiness, those adverse experiences did not kill me and I grew less fearful.  Then one day, the season of trial left as suddenly as it came.  When a couple years later, a friend happened upon a similar experience, I was able to provide the support and hope she needed to endure.  I could speak to her fear and failings as not one else could.  I could even crack a joke now and then that would have her laughing.  Over the years, I have sought out those who struggle the same way I did.  It might not be as brave as strapping a board on my feet and grabbing a parachute, but its pretty close.

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Happy New Year Dear Friend,

xox Karen
 
PS.  Hawk got out.  Daughter went back today to find that one of the young men managed to persuade/chase the little fellow back outdoors.  

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