I have a child who loves rocks. It is impossible for her to collect enough of them; she is entirely insatiable in this regard. When she was very little she would ask permission to take rocks from the street and was always thrilled when I said yes. She carries within her soul a deep delight that rocks are free. She collects rocks like God will one day say, “Wait!! How are all these children getting free rocks? Who is giving them away? Quickly, our rock supply is dwindling, start charging for them!” She is utterly astonished that more people do not take advantage of this natural resource.
I have come to love this part of my daughter though at times her passion for petrology drives me absolutely crazy. When I do a load of laundry, I will inevitably find pebbles left in the bottom of the machine. My car is filled with stones as is my purse. Some women clean their purses to get rid of excess paper. I clean my purse so that I don’t accidentally kill someone with the twenty pound sedimentary satchel hanging from my body. I have nearly lost toes as rock fragments are launched from my vacuum cleaner. All of my most noble efforts to support, yet contain, her rock collections have failed.
As a Christian homeschooling mother, I am supposed to have a never ending reserve of enthusiasm and goodwill towards my children’s love for all things science. I am supposed to seize every opportunity to praise their interest and sense of discovery. I confess though, that this spring, the only thing I have wanted to seize is my daughter’s pretty neck as she has left a geological evidence trail everywhere she went. I was reaching my breaking point. Either the rocks or my daughter had to go; I was no longer sure which.
Things hit a crescendo this summer when we suddenly had to pack up our home. “He” was leading us in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake, and we had ended up in a most unexpected and upsetting valley. (Twenty third Psalm: make sure you read the fine print.) Family life was intensely stressful as we sought to pack belongs as quickly as possible. As I turned my attention to the outside patio I was utterly astonished to find countless flower pots and bags filled with rocks: lots of rocks. I devised a strategy of sorting the high density treasure. Ones that showed any sign of beauty were kept. Plain and ugly rocks became lining for the drainage ditch. (I confess I am a shallow and pathetic creature.) But as I was sorting, I soon created a pile at my feet which became the “I-hate-you-because-you-are-heavy-but-you-are-too-nice-to-throw-away-because-there-is-a-really-strong-likelihood-my-daughter-will-remember-you-one-day-and-start-crying-because-you-are-lost” pile. I sighed. One step forward, fourteen backward.
I worked for as long as I was able and then turned my attention to other matters. But every time I looked outside and caught sight of my unhewn stone altar I wondered what on earth I was going to do with the pile. Would I be an evil parent and throw away the treasure my little scientist had spent hours gathering? Was I in fact, that mean spirited? Could I hide the fact that I was that mean spirited from my child? Would she find out? At the end of the week, I came up with a plan of desperation. I would sweep the stones into the gravel driveway so that I could get rid of them. That way, I could rid myself of the plutonic pests without actually throwing them away. It was a legalistic plan based on semantics but I could live with it. Besides, I could not make myself pack another container of rocks even if it meant my daughter’s career as a scientist would be crushed. I just couldn’t. That evening, I took a garden brush and swept the career of my future scientist into the driveway. I felt guilty for a full forty minutes.
Moving day came and we sent the children outside so as not to be trampled by adults moving furniture. They scattered across the yard and played outside as children will. While moving an uncharacteristically heavy box, undoubtedly filled with science textbooks, I noticed my daughter grab a large plastic bag off the kitchen counter. “Child of mine, do not pick up collect more junk or I will trade you for many hamsters! “ “I won’t,” was the only reply I heard. When the loading was done, I noticed that same child drag a rather large bag into the back of my van. “Darling,” I growled. “What are you doing?” She ran to the car and threw her arms around me, blond hair curls flying and eyes sparkling. “Mummy, you wouldn’t believe it! I found some ones just like the ones that were at the beach. I found some more treasures! “ She grabbed my hand and brought me to the car. “See,” she said. “Aren’t they beautiful?” And with great joy she opened her bag, which contained the very same stones I had swept away not days before. I screamed. She mistook my abject horror for excitement and was happy that I was as thrilled as she was that she had found the missing twin stones. Several evil responses jumped into my mouth and were fortunately decapitated by my tongue. “Oh Jesus help me!!” was the only prayer I could muster. I was confronted with a blonde cherub who was intent on driving me crazy. I wanted to scream and throw her entire rock collection into the depths of the sea. But how could you be angry with a child who was honestly thrilled with finding her rocks not only once but twice?
In that moment, I realized I was a high stress parent who was content to crush my child if it meant not having to deal with another stone. It was a depressing thought. I was not like the good parents in the home school magazines. Those mothers made oatmeal for their children for breakfast and then used the leftovers to make paper-mâché solar systems in the afternoon. I was an inferior facsimile, worse than that; I was content to be a substandard teacher. I needed help and I desperately needed not to hurt her precious, peculiar, rock hounding heart. “Darling,” I said, breathing deeply, “Only you could have found rocks like those ones. I think you must have a special gift that Jesus gave you. I think that you are unlike any other child I have ever had.”
She looked at me like I was the best mother in the world. She squeezed my hand and said, “I know, I am so lucky.” She stood on tiptoe, kissed my cheek and danced across the yard. “I can’t wait to see what kind of rocks we find when we move!!” I was biting the inside of my cheek hard, and I smiled weakly,”Neither can I Bunny. Honestly, neither can I.”
And I almost meant it.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Your Alarm Clock
Hello Darling Friend of Mine!!
I am so happy to hear that your vacation is showing the potential of being enjoyable!! That is fabulous. I will take the presence of that massive grocery store as a blessing even though I am still unclear if that is actually possible. We will continue to pray that the Lord restores your family as you hang out on your holiday together.
The girls are enjoying your house and their Daddy’s presence immensely. It was so kind of you to think of us during this crazy season. We will take the upmost care of your house! We are having a grand time and we promise not to scare your neighbors.
Your email was filled with irony, unknown to you. We bless the name of Mickey Mouse every time we use your singing toaster. (How you put up with that appliance I will never know!!) But we have recently been engaged in a battle with another of your appliances…..family versus your silver alarm clock.
I first met your alarm clock Wednesday morning at 7:00am when it started to serenade me from your bedroom. It was a noisy musical greeting, but as I padded down the hall from the guestroom my heart was filled with goodwill. “Hello, Alarm Clock. You must be Stacey’s friend. I am the house sitter. I will not be needing your services. Here, let me push buttons and move switches so that our relationship can progress without you speaking.” Satisfied I had quieted your clock, I padded back down the hall. In my mind though, I was thinking to myself, “I wonder why I couldn’t find the off switch?”
My husband met your alarm clock on Thursday morning at 4:37am. Did I mention my husband was once a sailor and was in the first Gulf War? He still carries in his psyche some of the residual effects of loud noises in the dark. After my half clothed husband had ruled out car alarm and home invasion he moved back upstairs to meet Alarm Clock. His meeting with your chronometer was a bit more intense. To be fair, your Alarm Clock was not as pleasant to my husband. He did not sing, rather he beeped in what can only be called an aggressive manner. They had a terse and brief exchange which resulted in my husband unplugging Mr. Sassy-Silver-Square-Pants.
Though I was saddened they did not get along, I resolved to put the issue in the past and move on with great plans to sleep in. Imagine then, my surprise, to hear Alarm Clock at 4:37am this Friday morning. I ran swiftly down the hall before the unruly appliance awoke my husband. “Alarm clock! I thought my husband unplugged you! Are you attention seeking? Are you bitter that you have never been to Disneyland like Mr. Toaster? Please be quiet!!” I begged as I again pushed buttons and moved switches. After I had quieted Alarm Clock, I plodded back down the hall to get into bed. “I’m confused,” I thought to myself. “I was sure hubby unplugged that thing…..” I fell back to sleep before I could place the pieces together in my mind.
Imagine my astonishment, Stace and Denny, when I was awoken not five minutes later by the aforementioned unholy electronic terror! This time there was no love to be found in my heart. I grabbed the possessed silver demon by the head and charged into your bathroom with it under my arm to quiet its fury. I found the light switch and examined my tormentor. “How very clever,” I thought to myself as the mystery final revealed itself, “an alarm clock with two programmable times. Staggeringly brilliant. And to keep batteries in your alarm clock in case of a power outage! Fancy being so prepared!!!”
It has always been my heart to leave a house in good order when I house sit. I take great pains to clean a home, pray through it and try to organize a corner or a nook for the owners. Do no harm is my policy. After all, we have been blessed to be a blessing. But darling friends, one thing will not be the same when you return home from your trip. You will find Mr. Alarm Clock not beside the bed where you left him, but on the dresser with both batteries removed. I do hope you understand.
Enjoy your vacation,
Much love,
KB
I am so happy to hear that your vacation is showing the potential of being enjoyable!! That is fabulous. I will take the presence of that massive grocery store as a blessing even though I am still unclear if that is actually possible. We will continue to pray that the Lord restores your family as you hang out on your holiday together.
The girls are enjoying your house and their Daddy’s presence immensely. It was so kind of you to think of us during this crazy season. We will take the upmost care of your house! We are having a grand time and we promise not to scare your neighbors.
Your email was filled with irony, unknown to you. We bless the name of Mickey Mouse every time we use your singing toaster. (How you put up with that appliance I will never know!!) But we have recently been engaged in a battle with another of your appliances…..family versus your silver alarm clock.
I first met your alarm clock Wednesday morning at 7:00am when it started to serenade me from your bedroom. It was a noisy musical greeting, but as I padded down the hall from the guestroom my heart was filled with goodwill. “Hello, Alarm Clock. You must be Stacey’s friend. I am the house sitter. I will not be needing your services. Here, let me push buttons and move switches so that our relationship can progress without you speaking.” Satisfied I had quieted your clock, I padded back down the hall. In my mind though, I was thinking to myself, “I wonder why I couldn’t find the off switch?”
My husband met your alarm clock on Thursday morning at 4:37am. Did I mention my husband was once a sailor and was in the first Gulf War? He still carries in his psyche some of the residual effects of loud noises in the dark. After my half clothed husband had ruled out car alarm and home invasion he moved back upstairs to meet Alarm Clock. His meeting with your chronometer was a bit more intense. To be fair, your Alarm Clock was not as pleasant to my husband. He did not sing, rather he beeped in what can only be called an aggressive manner. They had a terse and brief exchange which resulted in my husband unplugging Mr. Sassy-Silver-Square-Pants.
Though I was saddened they did not get along, I resolved to put the issue in the past and move on with great plans to sleep in. Imagine then, my surprise, to hear Alarm Clock at 4:37am this Friday morning. I ran swiftly down the hall before the unruly appliance awoke my husband. “Alarm clock! I thought my husband unplugged you! Are you attention seeking? Are you bitter that you have never been to Disneyland like Mr. Toaster? Please be quiet!!” I begged as I again pushed buttons and moved switches. After I had quieted Alarm Clock, I plodded back down the hall to get into bed. “I’m confused,” I thought to myself. “I was sure hubby unplugged that thing…..” I fell back to sleep before I could place the pieces together in my mind.
Imagine my astonishment, Stace and Denny, when I was awoken not five minutes later by the aforementioned unholy electronic terror! This time there was no love to be found in my heart. I grabbed the possessed silver demon by the head and charged into your bathroom with it under my arm to quiet its fury. I found the light switch and examined my tormentor. “How very clever,” I thought to myself as the mystery final revealed itself, “an alarm clock with two programmable times. Staggeringly brilliant. And to keep batteries in your alarm clock in case of a power outage! Fancy being so prepared!!!”
It has always been my heart to leave a house in good order when I house sit. I take great pains to clean a home, pray through it and try to organize a corner or a nook for the owners. Do no harm is my policy. After all, we have been blessed to be a blessing. But darling friends, one thing will not be the same when you return home from your trip. You will find Mr. Alarm Clock not beside the bed where you left him, but on the dresser with both batteries removed. I do hope you understand.
Enjoy your vacation,
Much love,
KB
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Rise Up O Man of God
Dear Man of God,
As I sit writing this letter, I wonder what anxieties have crossed your mind during this day. The world seems to be moving at such an alarming pace that I now have to be careful how much news I listen to in a 24 hour period so that I do not become overwhelmed. Wars, earthquakes, rising gas prices, the housing crisis: these headlines are rehearsed daily and I confess at times I wonder how we the “prosperous church” are doing with the charge in Romans 8 to keep our minds set on spiritual matters and our final destination.
My heart has been burdened for you Man of God, and the numerous challenges you face as you strive to provide for your family, maintain your integrity and follow Jesus. But every time my head hits the pillow, a song starts to play in my mind,
Rise up, O men of God!
His kingdom tarries long.
Bring in the day of brotherhood
And end the night of wrong.
Rise up, O men of God!
The church for you doth wait,
Her strength unequal to her task;
Rise up, and make her great!
Lift high the cross of Christ!
Tread where his feet have trod.
Disciples of the Son of Man,
Rise up, O church of God!
(Rise Up O Church of God by William P. Merrill vs 3 omitted.)
These powerful lyrics well up in my heart and I wish with all my soul that you knew how much Jesus wants you to succeed. You are on His team, and you are so much more important than you know.
Daniel 11:32 tells us that the people who know their God shall be strong and do exploits. Does this describe you Man of God? What exploits have you been on lately? What tales of success could you tell us? Where has your God called you to go and what did you do when he lead you there? Now, lest you think you are being called to attack pagan hordes with your bible and convert them en masse let me remind you where your battlefield lies. The battle is under your feet. Wherever you go in a week, there you do battle.
When praying for the men of the church I feel over and over again that many of you have yet to shown up for the battle. Of course you are attending church, but there is an assignment waiting for you, a service that is yours to perform, but you are continually talking yourself out of doing it. The question I have for you Man of God is “where are you?’
Perhaps you are waiting to become better acquainted with the Bible. You are aware that you do not know the good book like you should and you have not done the study the Lord has asked of you. But tell me, is this procrastination actually drawing you closer to the Lord or increasing your faith? To you Man of God I say jump in! Come and perform the good works to which you are called before the Lord calls another man to do your work for you. Pull your weight, and do your share, we are waiting for you, and our time on this earth is short.
Perhaps Man of God you do not know where to serve. How long have you wondered? How many months have you waited? Are you praying that your children will love and serve the Lord but forgetting the truth that children learn by observation? Are you setting yourself up to be a hypocrite in their eyes, to love God with your words but serve yourself with your actions? Man of God we need your skill, your perseverance, your talent. We are told that though we have ten thousand instructors in Christ we have few fathers (1 Cor 4:14). Are you further reducing this small number by refusing to take your place? Shake off complacency Man of God, take any small step towards service and see if the Lord doesn’t rush to meet you.
Perhaps you are paralyzed because of a past sin. Man of God, if the sin is in the past it doesn’t have the power to disqualify you from service. If the sin is current and preventing your ministry I have good news for you: Jesus died to set you free. You worship in a body that has every help available to you. Is your pride stopping you from getting help? Man of God it is time for you to get over yourself, truly and completely. Our church is full of sinners. Come and learn the sweet song of the redeemed as we each take our place and serve God.
You hold such talent Man of God. The years that you wandered, the years that have seemed so dry, the events that broke you and made you stronger; all these things that have transpired in your life are of use to your Master. I wonder if you would accept a challenge. Could you ask the Lord for an assignment that you could complete before the year ends? Just ask Him is there is anything that you could do for Him, for His bride: the church. Man of God you can not succeed if you will not try.
We are waiting and cheering for you.
Blessings,
KB
As I sit writing this letter, I wonder what anxieties have crossed your mind during this day. The world seems to be moving at such an alarming pace that I now have to be careful how much news I listen to in a 24 hour period so that I do not become overwhelmed. Wars, earthquakes, rising gas prices, the housing crisis: these headlines are rehearsed daily and I confess at times I wonder how we the “prosperous church” are doing with the charge in Romans 8 to keep our minds set on spiritual matters and our final destination.
My heart has been burdened for you Man of God, and the numerous challenges you face as you strive to provide for your family, maintain your integrity and follow Jesus. But every time my head hits the pillow, a song starts to play in my mind,
Rise up, O men of God!
His kingdom tarries long.
Bring in the day of brotherhood
And end the night of wrong.
Rise up, O men of God!
The church for you doth wait,
Her strength unequal to her task;
Rise up, and make her great!
Lift high the cross of Christ!
Tread where his feet have trod.
Disciples of the Son of Man,
Rise up, O church of God!
(Rise Up O Church of God by William P. Merrill vs 3 omitted.)
These powerful lyrics well up in my heart and I wish with all my soul that you knew how much Jesus wants you to succeed. You are on His team, and you are so much more important than you know.
Daniel 11:32 tells us that the people who know their God shall be strong and do exploits. Does this describe you Man of God? What exploits have you been on lately? What tales of success could you tell us? Where has your God called you to go and what did you do when he lead you there? Now, lest you think you are being called to attack pagan hordes with your bible and convert them en masse let me remind you where your battlefield lies. The battle is under your feet. Wherever you go in a week, there you do battle.
When praying for the men of the church I feel over and over again that many of you have yet to shown up for the battle. Of course you are attending church, but there is an assignment waiting for you, a service that is yours to perform, but you are continually talking yourself out of doing it. The question I have for you Man of God is “where are you?’
Perhaps you are waiting to become better acquainted with the Bible. You are aware that you do not know the good book like you should and you have not done the study the Lord has asked of you. But tell me, is this procrastination actually drawing you closer to the Lord or increasing your faith? To you Man of God I say jump in! Come and perform the good works to which you are called before the Lord calls another man to do your work for you. Pull your weight, and do your share, we are waiting for you, and our time on this earth is short.
Perhaps Man of God you do not know where to serve. How long have you wondered? How many months have you waited? Are you praying that your children will love and serve the Lord but forgetting the truth that children learn by observation? Are you setting yourself up to be a hypocrite in their eyes, to love God with your words but serve yourself with your actions? Man of God we need your skill, your perseverance, your talent. We are told that though we have ten thousand instructors in Christ we have few fathers (1 Cor 4:14). Are you further reducing this small number by refusing to take your place? Shake off complacency Man of God, take any small step towards service and see if the Lord doesn’t rush to meet you.
Perhaps you are paralyzed because of a past sin. Man of God, if the sin is in the past it doesn’t have the power to disqualify you from service. If the sin is current and preventing your ministry I have good news for you: Jesus died to set you free. You worship in a body that has every help available to you. Is your pride stopping you from getting help? Man of God it is time for you to get over yourself, truly and completely. Our church is full of sinners. Come and learn the sweet song of the redeemed as we each take our place and serve God.
You hold such talent Man of God. The years that you wandered, the years that have seemed so dry, the events that broke you and made you stronger; all these things that have transpired in your life are of use to your Master. I wonder if you would accept a challenge. Could you ask the Lord for an assignment that you could complete before the year ends? Just ask Him is there is anything that you could do for Him, for His bride: the church. Man of God you can not succeed if you will not try.
We are waiting and cheering for you.
Blessings,
KB
You would like Jamie
You would like Jamie, everyone does. Biker-girl-goes-Jesus, Jamie has a grace that allows her to smooth over the roughest of situations. Built like a pencil with swimmers shoulders, the grace in her heart spills out and frames her physique as well. She is a fun chick, the kind of person you give special assignments to at parties. “Jamie, see that couple over there? Well, his house just burned down, he lost his job and his wife is ready to leave him. Could you watch them for me and make sure they feel at home?” By the end of the evening the couple would be laughing, meeting Jamie at church on Sunday, and going to her Pastor’s small group the following week. That is Jamie.
If you were Jamie’s friend, you would know that she is the single mother of two children. The unwanted divorce was a few years ago now and she still walks with a bit of a limp. You would know she is an excellent mother and that she has had to fight for every star on her chart. We have spent many nights together on the phone, laughing, trouble-shooting behaviors in the children, crying out to Jesus in prayer and just plain crying. Being one of Jamie’s mentors is like having a squirrel on speed living in your backyard, when she breaks through the back door you are always pleased she has stopped by, but never quite sure what her presence will usher into your life. Jamie’s life is intense and high impact.
Like any person who has been transformed by Jesus, Jamie is unaware of the things that make her truly lovely. She called this morning, breathing happiness, to share her Mother’s day story. Jamie's church has a heart for mothers. The church is lead by energetic young man, who shepherds the church and is principal of their Christian school. Pastor knows the trials of parenting so it was not surprise he asked the single mothers to stand up this morning in order to receive special prayers and a blessing. What was a surprise was the love offering he asked the congregation to give these women as a token of support. Jamie called to share the joy she was feeling at the unexpected gift.
The most delightful part of the story though, came after the service. Jamie's son, had watched his mother go up for prayer, but was puzzled that his grandmother, who had suffered a divorce in the past year, had not stood up to be included. Distressing family events had made him keenly aware that his grandmother now walked under the “single parent family” banner that flew above his own. More than that, he knew his mother had received a present but Grandma did not. The cause-of-the-underdog flows strongly through this nine year olds veins. He did what came naturally to his heart. “Grandma, I don’t have money, but here, I want to give you my pinball game.” And with that, he pulled out his videogame, faithful companion in the fight against boredom and placed it in Grandma’s hands. Understandably, Grandma became a puddle and the problem was solved.
It is moments like these that make me melt for Jesus. I have spent hours listening to this woman of God weep over her short comings and her inability to be a father to her son. I have prayed with her as she has walked over the hot sands of divorce with her Lord. I have watched as broken and alone she has wondered if Jesus and her mother’s love is enough to keep her son safe. The gift to her on this Mother’s Day is the answer “yes.”
Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right. Proverbs 20:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
If you were Jamie’s friend, you would know that she is the single mother of two children. The unwanted divorce was a few years ago now and she still walks with a bit of a limp. You would know she is an excellent mother and that she has had to fight for every star on her chart. We have spent many nights together on the phone, laughing, trouble-shooting behaviors in the children, crying out to Jesus in prayer and just plain crying. Being one of Jamie’s mentors is like having a squirrel on speed living in your backyard, when she breaks through the back door you are always pleased she has stopped by, but never quite sure what her presence will usher into your life. Jamie’s life is intense and high impact.
Like any person who has been transformed by Jesus, Jamie is unaware of the things that make her truly lovely. She called this morning, breathing happiness, to share her Mother’s day story. Jamie's church has a heart for mothers. The church is lead by energetic young man, who shepherds the church and is principal of their Christian school. Pastor knows the trials of parenting so it was not surprise he asked the single mothers to stand up this morning in order to receive special prayers and a blessing. What was a surprise was the love offering he asked the congregation to give these women as a token of support. Jamie called to share the joy she was feeling at the unexpected gift.
The most delightful part of the story though, came after the service. Jamie's son, had watched his mother go up for prayer, but was puzzled that his grandmother, who had suffered a divorce in the past year, had not stood up to be included. Distressing family events had made him keenly aware that his grandmother now walked under the “single parent family” banner that flew above his own. More than that, he knew his mother had received a present but Grandma did not. The cause-of-the-underdog flows strongly through this nine year olds veins. He did what came naturally to his heart. “Grandma, I don’t have money, but here, I want to give you my pinball game.” And with that, he pulled out his videogame, faithful companion in the fight against boredom and placed it in Grandma’s hands. Understandably, Grandma became a puddle and the problem was solved.
It is moments like these that make me melt for Jesus. I have spent hours listening to this woman of God weep over her short comings and her inability to be a father to her son. I have prayed with her as she has walked over the hot sands of divorce with her Lord. I have watched as broken and alone she has wondered if Jesus and her mother’s love is enough to keep her son safe. The gift to her on this Mother’s Day is the answer “yes.”
Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right. Proverbs 20:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Keep Walking it Through....
I am sitting in my living room with my lap top, cup of tea by my side, marveling at the wonders of technology. Within an hour, I have sent pictures to a sister in Toronto, Skyped my brother in Hawaii, and watched the effects of a hurricane heading towards the east coast. I am now “up to speed”. I have noticed however, that there is a direct correlation between the amount of information I posses and the amount of anxiety I experience. This becomes especially true as I receive new of those I love who are struggling with life’s disappointments. I challenge you if your prayer life is suffering, join a web group and see if after three months you haven’t been encouraged to pray for others. It is hard not to increase your prayer time as others share their walk.
And so it is with my homeschooling friends; prayer requests come in for unexpected accidents, deaths, little pookies with health issues, white blood cell counts and broken hearts and lives. I was thirty-five when I realized that the carefree days I had previously experienced were over. I had in fact, grown up, and those around me were facing grown up struggles that were not part of our twenty- something existence. It dawned on me, that if I was going to keep walking with Jesus, I was going to have to increase the amount of time I spent in prayer. As one given easily to anxiety, it seemed I was spending more time wondering if God had the universe under control, as opposed to thanking Him that He did.
I suppose such revelations are part of growing older. As my prayer time increased however, I was surprised by the amount of time I spent arguing with the Lord. I was the living example of Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. Something was wrong; my prayers were laced with accusations and sounded petulant even to my ears. After some reflection, I realized why my prayers were so out of step with the Lord. I wanted to be delivered FROM my fears and the Lord desired to walk me THROUGH them. The list didn’t stop at my fears though; I wanted to be delivered from struggles, conflicts, inconveniences and all manner of things that caused me grief.
We all love a good deliverance story, God showing up, enemies fleeing, and victory being handed to the hero by the Lord himself. But I found myself walking beside those who were not being rescued in an afternoon. The people I know need the strength to get out of bed in the morning and to choose to serve their families. They need the strength not to give up, to go one more day in situations that have dragged on for years. I was at a loss to encourage them because I didn’t understand the great value of being taken through the storm. I was entirely interested in victory and uninterested in character.
Not so with our Jesus.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us… Romans 5:3-5
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1: 3-5
Qualities such as faith and perseverance are clearly important to our Lord. When I started to pray asking God for wisdom to get through the situations, I immediately became more peaceful. I wasn’t at the place where I was rejoicing yet, but I wasn’t trying to run from them either, which I counted as a success and a work of the Lord.
And so Sister, I find myself praying for you this afternoon. I pray that you will not make many of the foolish mistakes I have made as the Lord seeks to develop us by prayer. I pray you would know that as you walk through your battle that the Lord goes with you. That even if the burden is not being removed Jesus promises He will shoulder it with you. I pray that God would give you the strength to keep going, though every fiber of you has had enough. You are such a blessing, and your good work has not been forgotten by the Lord.
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10
And so it is with my homeschooling friends; prayer requests come in for unexpected accidents, deaths, little pookies with health issues, white blood cell counts and broken hearts and lives. I was thirty-five when I realized that the carefree days I had previously experienced were over. I had in fact, grown up, and those around me were facing grown up struggles that were not part of our twenty- something existence. It dawned on me, that if I was going to keep walking with Jesus, I was going to have to increase the amount of time I spent in prayer. As one given easily to anxiety, it seemed I was spending more time wondering if God had the universe under control, as opposed to thanking Him that He did.
I suppose such revelations are part of growing older. As my prayer time increased however, I was surprised by the amount of time I spent arguing with the Lord. I was the living example of Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. Something was wrong; my prayers were laced with accusations and sounded petulant even to my ears. After some reflection, I realized why my prayers were so out of step with the Lord. I wanted to be delivered FROM my fears and the Lord desired to walk me THROUGH them. The list didn’t stop at my fears though; I wanted to be delivered from struggles, conflicts, inconveniences and all manner of things that caused me grief.
We all love a good deliverance story, God showing up, enemies fleeing, and victory being handed to the hero by the Lord himself. But I found myself walking beside those who were not being rescued in an afternoon. The people I know need the strength to get out of bed in the morning and to choose to serve their families. They need the strength not to give up, to go one more day in situations that have dragged on for years. I was at a loss to encourage them because I didn’t understand the great value of being taken through the storm. I was entirely interested in victory and uninterested in character.
Not so with our Jesus.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us… Romans 5:3-5
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1: 3-5
Qualities such as faith and perseverance are clearly important to our Lord. When I started to pray asking God for wisdom to get through the situations, I immediately became more peaceful. I wasn’t at the place where I was rejoicing yet, but I wasn’t trying to run from them either, which I counted as a success and a work of the Lord.
And so Sister, I find myself praying for you this afternoon. I pray that you will not make many of the foolish mistakes I have made as the Lord seeks to develop us by prayer. I pray you would know that as you walk through your battle that the Lord goes with you. That even if the burden is not being removed Jesus promises He will shoulder it with you. I pray that God would give you the strength to keep going, though every fiber of you has had enough. You are such a blessing, and your good work has not been forgotten by the Lord.
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10
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