Glimpse of Glory

Hot tears ran down my face as drove to the freeway.  “If this keeps up, I’m going to have to pull over,” I muttered at the Lord.  It wasn’t His fault I was crying but I’ve been blaming Him for a lot lately.  I smiled at myself, took a breath and tried to pull myself together.  Suddenly, a wave of grief rose up in my heart and tears filled my eyes again. “Fine then,” I hiccupped as if a question had been answered.  Pulling over before I had an accident seemed like wisdom.  I spotted the driveway of a closed restaurant and parked the car.  

After checking my surroundings for monsters, policemen and strangers, I put my head down on the steering wheel and cried. 

I wasn’t even sure why I was crying.  I had received some surprising news the night before, but truthfully I had so much to be thankful for the tears seemed misplaced.  I sat quietly and tried praying. 

Rebuilding a life after a trial isn’t an easy process. Ask anyone who has been through a divorce or who has done a round of chemo and they will tell you the same thing.  Some days, it is hard to look straight ahead.  Some days, you spend too much time looking over your shoulder at the destruction behind you.  Some days, the loss seems overwhelming.

I spent my prayer time telling the Lord I didn’t understand.  I didn’t understand my circumstances and I certainly didn’t understand why my prayers went unanswered.  I confessed I was having a hard time looking forwards when all I saw over my shoulder was ruin and ashes.  I asked for help, because I knew I was lost in self-pity and impatience. 

Then something special happened. 

I looked in my rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of the sun rise.  Full on sunshine as I looked over my shoulder.

In that moment, I remembered that I’m not going to understand.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isa 55:8-9

In that moment, I remembered it was God’s job to make things beautiful. 

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end Ecc 3:11

In that moment, I remembered that He is lovely even when I am not.

Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.  Isa 61:3

I am praying for you this week my friend, if you are looking over your shoulder at what has been, what has hurt and what has gone; that you would find moments of His providence.  Moments where the Son shines so brightly through the darkness, it causes you to smile through tears.  I pray you would see His fingerprints all over your life, all over the pages of your days, because He lovingly hovers over you. 

May peace rest on you this week,

xoxKaren