A Cacophony of Clothing

Yep.  Sold in a store near you.  Someone wanted money for this. 

Hello Friend,

How are you holding?  Fall is settling into my corner and I miss our walks by the seaside.  They helped me make sense of the world, which seems to be hurling toward the book of Revelation at a break neck pace.  As a Canadian, American politics was hard to understand with your tutelage, without it, I’m simply lost.  I was keeping pace until that Moochi fellow reenacted the Fall of Icarus with such staggering devotion.  At that point I became overwhelmed.  Though it was barely 10 weeks ago the tone of my surroundings have changed so much it has altered my prayer life.  I offer the Lord fewer solutions now, realizing we have crossed the event horizon of social incivility.  Media of all forms has become a blood sport and I find myself limiting my exposure to its war cry.  I am spending more time with those I love and enjoying the care those relationships provide. 

It’s nice.   

My recreational time has been overtaken by the demands of raising teenagers, which was how I ended up at the mall recently.  Any of my children will tell you going to a shopping mall is a gift of sacrificial love on my part.   I simply detest the places.  One of my children however, spontaneously acquired the shopping gene, so to prove my undying love, we spent an afternoon window shopping.  

This is where it gets complicated.  I love spending time with my girls.  I enjoy discussing life issues, reshaping problems as opportunities for hope and encouraging their souls to look for joy.  This parenting goal is challenged the moment I set foot in a store whose objective is to clothe my children.  Clothe did I say?  I’m sorry, I should have been more accurate.  What would you call it if a clothing factory vomited on the floor and then offered to place its fabric remnants on your child?  That’s the word I’m looking for… 

This week I have decided to become a fashion blogger, because frankly, Christian mommy blogging has its limitations.  What makes it all the more awesome is the fact I’m radically unqualified to blog about fashion.  My friends will tell you my fashion style is rumpled or nonexistent.  This means, anything I will say is based on observation and sheer ignorance.  I’m excited as I feel I meet the standard set by the internet at large: opinionated and uninformed.  

The first thing I noticed was the vibe of the store.  The place possessed all the despair and broken dreams a sweat shop can afford.  Cheap and sad, most of the clothing hailed from the same unimaginative muse.  Like the $20 barmaid Halloween costume, the clothing was dipped in a tawdry layer of sexuality that was both bizarre and depressing.  I wandered aimlessly looking for something … anything pretty.  I realized I was in the wrong place.  This store had given up flattering for flattening.  Skeins of spandex spun into every garment so that young forms and curves could be forced into the shape of a garish doll, identical and tired. It was like a physical manifestation of a teenage identity crisis.    

I walked to outer wear which was a wise move on my part.  My mood picked up immeasurably.  Walking around in disbelief I suddenly realized I was feeling better.  The wailing of cheap sex had been silenced by racks and racks of fuzzy faux fur.  Unclear of what I was seeing, I asked my daughter, “What exactly is all this stuff?”   “Coats Mum!” was the reply.  “Get out! This is amazing!”  I was rewarded with an eye roll.  So in the vein of a fashionista, I would like to introduce you to a few of my favorite coats this fall season. 

Though not as stylish as velour tracksuits, I see potential here. 

I call this one “Low Carb Cookie Monster” in honour of all my friends on the Keto diet. Do you recall how smug you felt when you realized Cookie was a puppet and was therefore unable to eat the cookies he threw about the room?  Not only is this coat really ugly and shapeless, it is the colour of Cookie Monster himself, minus the fuzz length.  How many humans look good in this shade of blue?   I’m not certain but if you know what comes after the phrase “C is for cookie…” this is your coat. 

This could only be improved if it came with a cinnamon scented liner. 

This garment was brought out for fall and I call it Pumpkin Spice Muppet.  There really aren’t words to describe it.  Think Ewok meets Beaker’s hair and you are working your way there.  I spent a lot of time staring at this one trying to imagine who would look at home in it.  I decided that our hamster James would do it justice though the sizing would be a problem.  A Sphynx cat might also appreciate it as a bed.  The makers of this fabric are laughing their way to the bank.  Back in my day we used this stuff as craft material.  We cut it into long rectangles, put two googly eyes on it and sold them as caterpillars at the church bazaar.   Clearly the coat visionary didn’t know this fabric wasn’t made to become clothing.  

To understand why I like the next coat you have to meet a member of my family.  My daughter found him at the dollar store and fell instantly in love with him “because he was so soft and fuzzy.”  His sole function is to come on family trips and have his picture taken.  Meet Scruffles: this is Scruffles at Lake Tahoe this summer.  

Fortunately Scruffles didn't need to get into the water because I don't think he can swim. 

Imagine my surprise when I saw Scruffles in coat form! My shock was matched only by my middle child who screamed and launched herself at the coat rack.  It took a while to get her put of there and a complicated discussion ensued as to how many Scruffles were harmed in the making of these garments.  I made a mental note never to take that child shopping again. 

Scruffles family

We wandered some more, bought sugar dipped dough and chatted.  By the time we returned home I was tired, not physically but mentally.  I was unclear how to convey the importance of self-worth when so much of the clothing available to this generation is worth-less.  Unclear where to find self-respect when it has been exchanged for rabid self-righteousness.  Unclear how to encourage thoughtful discussion when many would rather rage than engage and venting anger has become the norm.  

Where was Jesus in the whole mess?

Funny, when I type that, a whole bunch of Christianese phrases jump to mind.  “He is high and lifted up.”  “Ruling and reigning.” “Large and in charge” and a whole myriad of phrases that aren’t all together helpful.  As the world gets noisier and troubles increase, we are faced with a choice.  From where will we pull our strength?  Will we pop a phrase in our computer and hit enter and come before the Google god?  Or will we hit our knees and come before God himself?  With what, will we clothe ourselves?  Will we put on articles provided by the world, faux fury and frustration? Or will we hold to the simple gospel that every person is found wanting and clothe ourselves in the grace Jesus provides? 

It isn’t easy.  

So I’m praying for you dear friend.  While so many are in a season of loss and grief that you will be able to come alongside in compassion and understanding as opposed to offering trite soundbite sentiments.  That you would have the strength to bridge the spaces between your neighbors and listen with understanding.  

Thinking of you this week,


xoxKaren